Confessions from Inside of a Freelancer’s Own Family
Posted February 27, 2011 in Freelance Stories, Lifestyle
“Honey, I love you but….At times you really @#&% me off.”
At least that’s what one freelancer’s family member recently told them.
Did you ever wonder how your own family members feel about your freelancing? This guest post takes a look at freelancing from the perspective of a freelancer’s own family member.
Freelancing Impacts the Whole Family
For a freelancer a freelance life is a dream come true. Work from home, set your own working hours and be your own boss. As good and easy as that looks, it’s not all that easy.
The freelance life does not just affect the freelancer. It’s a lifestyle–a way of a living that includes each and every member of the home. And it influences other people’s lives.
I mean the lives of the family.
Wife, husband, children, parents, siblings, relatives and friends… A freelancer’s life affects all of them.
Feast and Famine
My own husband is a freelancer and I have seen him grow as one.
A freelancer’s growth can be a slow growth that is dormant in the initial stages and sometimes the process is very exhausting.
Whatever it is, you know that this person (working in some corner of the house) is working, sometimes very hard, to fulfill our needs. The result can be sleepless nights, sunken eyes, a growing belly; losing hair, overdose of caffeine–it’s all a part of it. Well, at least in the initial stages and then after a year or two comes the happy period when the bills are paid, money is adding up in the bank account and cash flow is smooth.
The happy period is great!
Suddenly the freelancer is sleeping as long as they want, watching TV for almost all the day, going out, just chilling, talking for hours, making plans. That’s lovely, absolutely lovely!
But the happy period doesn’t last long. Clients’ emails and calls come up, the freelancer has to keep their profile updated, and they have to reply ASAP. They can’t afford to lose the good clients. Fine. Understood.
Problems Faced by Freelancing Families
The question is, does the freelancer understand the life of the family?
You see, a freelancer can be too involved. At times, they can completely shut themselves off to others.
Let’s take a look at some of the problems freelancing may cause for a family:
- Lack of consistency–The family wonders why the freelancer isn’t consistent. One week you help with the grocery pick up the kids, and do not complain. The next week every little request becomes a demand.
- Managing finances–Managing a freelancer’s money as compared to income from a regular job is a bit more complicated in terms of amount, frequency, and reliability. Making a worksheet of the expected income, the amount to be spent and saved, and discussing the finances with your family members will make things far easier.
- Transparency–Be open about your work. Many freelancers have turned their passion into work or their work into passion. In both cases, they enjoy doing their work. However, a freelancer must be open about his work, he or she must admit that they are working and want respect for that work. One can’t always rely on others to realize and act accordingly; at times you have to be straightforward. Simply say, “Something important has come up. I need some peace and quiet for this work.”
- Routine–This is often missing. The freelancer may say “honey there’s no routine in a freelancer’s life that’s why it’s called freelance. I am free I can work whenever I want to.” However, most families run on a routine. For spending quality time with your family, some routine is a must.
- Health is wealth–Your health matters to us. We love you and want you to be healthy happy and smiling. So please if not for yourself, do it for us. Join the gym follow a fitness routine. But please take care of yourself.
What’s the key to all of these problems?
Balance Is Key
It’s all about balancing your home and work. A freelancer and their family have to put in more effort to achieve this balance.
A freelancer must admit that he or she is working from home because he or she enjoys it. After all, freelancing is the best way of working. Home is the most comfortable environment. But, when you are working from home remember you are at HOME.
Your Turn
How have you balanced family life and freelancing?
Share your stories in the comments.
Related posts:
- 3 Tips to Help Your Family Benefit from Your Freelancing at Home
- Manifesto for a Freelancer with a Family
- Working With Friends and Family — Can It Ever Work?
- Working With Friends And Family? – What You Need To Know
About the author: Kiran is a freelance writer and a mother of a one year old boy. She enjoys writing on the freelance life, parenting, children academics and simple living. She holds a Masters degree in Microbiology and is also very much concerned about the environment. She likes cooking, reading, watching movies and enjoys nature. You can connect with her on Twitter.
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21 Comments
Samar
February 27th, 2011 at 9:38 amFreelancers with kids have it a tougher.
One thing that has helped tremendously is working early morning and late afternoon while the baby sleeps. But add a teething baby to the mix and routine goes out the window!
If I’ve had a particularly difficult week, my husband takes care of the baby on Saturday while I either catch on my sleep or my work.
Your family needs to be part of the team if you’re to succeed as a freelancer and you need to be an equal member of that team!
Samantha Bangayan
February 27th, 2011 at 11:20 amGreat post, Kiran! Balance is key to any career and lifestyle. Along the same lines, good communication is also really important to a family environment and seems to underlie many of your points. A couple of other tidbits that might help: designating “work time” and working in a closed home office. =)
Allena
February 27th, 2011 at 3:38 pmSamar, and other moms, it gets better, hang in there! I started freelancing in 2006 when my son was 3. Now my children are both in school 6 hours a day, and I finally hit the 6-figure mark!
Adam Mercado
February 28th, 2011 at 12:28 amThis has been a big issue in our house recently. Struggling to find balance and the sporadic income of a young freelance career is taking its toll on us. I tend to keep my work to myself too so I need to remember to communicate whats going on with me much better
angelee
February 28th, 2011 at 6:21 amYeah, this is very very true, like my mum, she can’t get it yet. Sometimes, we gotta balance our time and not sticking too much on the screen. Great read and helps us vent out a bit.
Ensemble
February 28th, 2011 at 6:51 ami think the balance is the key here and support of family members is absolutely imp then only u can get flexible…otherwise guilt is gonna make u feel every moment as famine period in freelancing
Tuncay Demirtepe
February 28th, 2011 at 10:52 amMy parents never believe me when I say them “I’m working at home”
they tough, I spend all my time in house and do nothing. My father always told “find a job, otherwise you will be homeless”
I was lazy boy of family :)
the funny thing is they never asked “where did you find money”
Natalia Sylvester
February 28th, 2011 at 12:57 pmMy biggest struggle for a long time was turning my business “off” when I wasn’t working. I had emails and Twitter messages coming into my phone constantly, so I was literally taking it with me everywhere I went.
My husband rarely complained, but I was disturbed by how easily I could be distracted. I’d go from being “in the moment” with my family to suddenly making a quick phone call or dashing back into my office to write a quick email.
I think structure is key. I now try to have set business hours, and I don’t get email alerts on my phone.
Cafe Guy
February 28th, 2011 at 4:52 pmI personally think it’s a good idea to expand into a business before either starting a family, or becoming a full time boss. If you don’t have a family to take care of freelancing could be a good idea. However freelancing and managing a family could get kind of hectic, especially if the checks stop coming in or you can’t land jobs.
Establishing a name for yourself so clients are continuously is definitely a good idea.
robbydesigns
March 1st, 2011 at 10:27 amFantastic article, the best I’ve read anywhere for a long time. So very true but what you didn’t mention (maybe in order to keep it light) is the effect freelancing can have on your relationship. I recently lost my partner of 5 years because she couldn’t handle my tenacity, my working 10 hours a day (used to be a lot more) or the classic ‘feast and famine’.
Kiran Kanwal
March 2nd, 2011 at 8:44 amThank you for commenting on my post. Really appreciate it!
@ Samantha I totally agree with you. Balance is definitely the key for a happy, successful and content life.
@ Allena Wow! You did it .:)
@ Tuncay freelancing is still a new concept for many people. Especially for people of the previous generation where everything came from a regular job.
@ Natalia I think the struggle to shut off work for some time is an issue for many freelancers but winning this struggle is very important for people you love and want to be with.
@ Cafe Guy Its not that easy as said. In fact many people quit their day jobs and opt for freelancing from home for the sake of their families.
@ Robby designs Thank you for liking my post so much. Not balancing work and home can do some serious harm on a relationship. And I think that’s what happened with you.
RobbyDesigns
March 2nd, 2011 at 7:59 pm@Kiran Kanwal I was only working 2 hours more than when I was an Interior Designer in an office! Anyway, thanks again for a great article.
bible study
March 3rd, 2011 at 12:46 amHi
Okay article. I just became aware of your blog and desired to say I have really enjoyed reading your opinions. Any way I’ll be subscribing in your feed and Lets hope you post again soon.
Thanks :)
Cj Cerillo
March 6th, 2011 at 6:20 amNice post. Its very inspiring for me. As a starter freelance web developer, I actually have a lot of problem focusing at home. Working at home isn’t just easy, it has many factors to consider and family and household members are one of the factors of it. I also agree that, balance is they key to all.
Thanks!
Rochelle Broder-Singer
March 7th, 2011 at 3:47 pmThis is all very true, and it’s easy to forget that even a freelance life needs some structure when you also have a family.
Something else important that you didn’t touch on: the freelancing partner is often getting all the benefits of the arrangement, while the non-freelancing partner gets all the downside.
As a freelancer, I get to work from my home office with the company of the dog, eat home-made meals (leftovers from the night before) and take a mid-day nap if I really, really need to. I have no boss hovering over me, no commute and no need to wear a suit. I am 10 times happier than I was before I left my job. My husband, on the other hand, still has all of those things, plus the pressure of having to worry extra about keeping his job because he provides the family’s health insurance. And we both had to cut back on our lifestyle when my income went down.
That’s why it’s so extremely important to make sure that your partner is completely on-board with you becoming a full-time freelancer. It’s going to be very hard on him/her.
Tess The Bold Life
March 15th, 2011 at 10:38 amI like the point about taking credit for your work. Stand tall. Be proud. Write on! Balance is key. You’ll never get regret making your family a priority. Precious moments are forever memories.
Kiran Kanwal
April 19th, 2011 at 5:15 amHi everyone
check out my Blog http://www.successatparenting.com
Thank you
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