Yes that’s me too. I basically just AM burn-out in the first place. I get disability. Officially I work part-time. I often struggle frankly to do enough days or hours in a week to qualify as part-time, and end up struggling to make up the days in other weeks. I feel like I’m either too ill to work or working my ass off. In fact that’s not just how I feel it’s how it is. And what makes me feel the other sort of burn-out is the fact that because I have health problems etc I am always stuck in the “building a reputation” “building a portfolio” “getting more experience” stages of whatever I’m trying to do. I don’t actually need these except to prove to people who don’t know me that I can do things.

I’m getting seriously burned out and stressed now. Working too much for too little simply because every time I get that CV really juicy I hit another bad patch and then I’m too ill. And I mean for years – it takes a long time to get back up to speed. And every time I’m a lot less optimistic.

If I could somehow springboard to get the pay I need for the work I can do then everything would be OK. But I’m just trapped by being put back to square one every few years and having to start all over again.

I don’t know what to do about this, I do what I do because that is who I am. If I wasn’t officially “self-employed” I would be doing the same things anyway.

I did go to the doctor and ask for help by the way, but as usual I was ignored until I crashed and burned. Again. Don’t believe all the media that tells you you will get support when you need it. Some people do, but many people are essentially considered to be useless and not worth the resources. I’m in that category. I’m the only person that any of these people ever meet that has been classified as severely disabled and is properly employed. They have schemes to try to get disabled people “back to work”, but the support isn’t there after you start work.

Sorry this got ranty but I’m having a crappy week from the point of view of work. Burning out on a project that I’m doing for peanuts just for the “portfolio”. Again. And got asked to take out several days’ worth of work on a whim by the client. In the past I’d have said “right time to start getting serious and making people pay more”. But now I just feel tired.

And I can’t be signed off sick – as I’m self employed. What to do?