How Negative of a Freelancer Are You?
Posted August 4, 2010 in Inspiration, Marketing
I was reading an email that offered me an opportunity to partner up on a joint venture and I was thinking I should jump on board the opportunity–until I read a crucial little phrase that swerved me in the other direction. It was right in the wrap-up:
“Don’t hesitate to contact me.”
Suddenly something in my mind shifted. My relaxed expression shifted to a mild frown.
“Mmm. This isn’t a good fit for me,” I decided. I didn’t really know why it wasn’t a good opportunity any more. I just closed the email. I didn’t get in touch with the sender.
I didn’t think much of my reaction until I was skimming through comments on my blog one day. “I couldn’t agree more,” a commentator had written.
I hit the reading brakes. What?! How could you not agree? That was a perfectly good post! How the…
When I reread the comment, I got my bearings. The commentator had been agreeing with me (in a very nice way, too). So why my reaction? He’d simply tripped up my brain. How?
By using negative language. In this post, I’ll explain how using negative language can cause clients to take you less seriously and hurt your freelancing business.
Don’t Be Negative When You Want a Positive
In both cases, the two people writing to me had positive intentions. They’d wanted me to have a good reaction to their words. But, innocently, unknowingly, they’d actually influenced a negative reaction that got them exactly what they didn’t want.
Let’s be clear: Negative language doesn’t mean flaming or nasty comments. It means using words and phrases that have negative mental associations. A simple word like don’t, for example, flicks on our brains in ways that make us think of words like stop, halt, warning, be careful. They’re just words, but they carry meaning.
And how we perceive meaning influences our emotional reaction. Choose the wrong words and you can stop action in its tracks.
Years ago, negative language was pretty common. Someone, somewhere, thought it was very good manners to use “I can’t agree more,” and “Don’t hesitate to call” in business. Executives, assistants and managers were trained that this was the proper way to communicate to convey a credible image.
That was just the way things were back then. But, it didn’t work.
See, when you notice words like “don’t,” and “hesitate”, your brain slows down and focuses on the meaning they carry. This attention is hard-wired into our brains, providing a warning system–we certainly don’t want to do anything bad or dangerous. So, we pay attention to words we associate with caution.
It’s worth paying attention to the words we use, especially when it comes to getting people to take action or helping them think of you favourably. We love our negativity. In fact, a 2005 study revealed that 20% of the words we use are neutral and only 30% are positive.
Half the words we produce express negative emotion.
Our tendency to focus on the negative can affect sales results, and not always for better. “Don’t wait to buy,” might kill a marketing campaign, because readers focus on “don’t” and “wait”. Sales fizzle. “You won’t regret it,” might influence a reader to think they might actually regret it, so they hire somewhere else. A fast “no problem” might water down a lucrative contract into a lesser one.
Yeah. The right words are pretty important.
How to Turn Negative Into Positive
So how can you turn this negative language situation around? Easy. Avoid words and phrases like “can’t”, “won’t”, “don’t”, “wait,” “won’t regret,” “don’t hesitate,” and “no doubt.” These are all words that potentially carry bad feelings, a sense of “stop” or a cautionary association.
Replace negative language with words that encourage action and good feelings. Choose ones with positive associations, like “can”, “will”, “do,” “feel free,” “go ahead,” and “for sure.”
Take a simple “don’t hesitate”, for example. Replace it with “buy now.” See the difference? More importantly, can you feel the difference? There’s definite action-oriented positive emotion rolling off the second option, and “buy now” conveys a lot more confidence, too.
Here’s a fun exercise you can try. Go back to an old email and read it carefully to see how many negative words you can find. Think about how you perceive each word and the type of emotional impact it creates in your mind. Watch for any phrases that might cause hesitation in the reader’s mind.
Now think about how you could replace those words to create positive impact. Warm feelings. Action. Because when readers take action you want them to take–without hesitation, without a doubt in their mind…
Well. Only good can come of it, right?
What About You
Do you use negative language when you communicate with your freelancing clients? Do you think it could be impacting your business?
Share your thoughts in the comments.
Related posts:
- Dealing With Negative Criticism
- Is the Title “Freelancer” a Turn-Off?
- How To Be The Freelancer That Everyone Wants To Work With
About the author: For more freelancing and online marketing strategies, check out Men with Pens, where James Chartrand normally hangs out doling out advice that brings you extra cash. Need more advice? Men with Pens now offers consulting services.
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58 Comments
Steve Maggs
August 4th, 2010 at 8:41 amCouldn’t agree more…oh wait…I completely agree! In these times of mass apathy and sloth you really do need to stay positive when you want someone to do something.
Dustin Curtis experimented on his blog and found that telling people to follow him on twitter was much better than inviting them to. Be direct is the key.
Although the root cause may be a lack of understanding of language which is slowly killing human communication. We’re in such a rush to communicate and understand everything that we will one day understand nothing.
Jordan Walker
August 4th, 2010 at 9:08 amCharming post relating to pessimistic vernacular. I still prefer to interface with clients via the phone, then there is no mistake about the connotation of a phrase.
Cathy Miller
August 4th, 2010 at 10:31 amBoy, will this have me fretting about my communication. It’s definitely a different perspective. Thanks for the new view.
Rachel Small
August 4th, 2010 at 10:37 amThanks for this post! I’ve heard about the power of negative language before but never really stopped to think about how much I actually used it in my communication with clients.
Jeri Vespoli
August 4th, 2010 at 10:42 amWholeheartedly agree! : )
Practiced the same when talking to my children. It takes some retraining of the mind, but it really does make a POSITIVE impact on responses.
Freelance FactFile
August 4th, 2010 at 10:51 amThis article is not without some element of truth.
vs
This article is so true!
Negative words complicate sentences and make them harder to understand. Short, positive statements win the day – always.
Kei San Pablo
August 4th, 2010 at 11:19 amSo, so true! Definitely something about our everyday conversation that we probably don’t notice. Spread the positivity!
Jeannie
August 4th, 2010 at 11:31 amFabulous article and I absolutely agree with it all.
I am guilty of using negative language myself – every day when greeted by my boss who asked how I was I would say “not too bad”!!!
I am grateful to her for pointing out how negative that was and making me change an ingrained habit by constantly pointing out to me that I’d said it again!
Jen
August 4th, 2010 at 11:52 amGreat post! Something I will keep in mind when communicating. Communication is an important part of what we do and it’s important to be aware of the little things like this!
Lexirodrigo
August 4th, 2010 at 11:52 amNice post, James! Reminds me of the years I worked in UNICEF. We would always strive to use positive language–even when we were writing about child abuse etc. Not that we were watering things down or anything like that. It was for a lot of different things.
For example, instead of characterizing the children as “victims,” we wanted them to be considered “survivors.” And we wanted our readers to feel hope… that with their help, these children can still have a good future to look forward to.
This is good advice. I always delete “don’t hesitate” and instead type “feel free”. It makes a difference!
Mark
August 4th, 2010 at 12:12 pmWow, nice wake-up call! I just went back in my emails to make sure I use as much positive language as possible.. Seems I’m going quite alright :)
James Chartrand - Men with Pens
August 4th, 2010 at 12:12 pm@Steve – for sure, being clear about what you want and telling people to take that action goes a long way!
@Jordan – You’re using big words, there, my friend. I’ll need more coffee to keep up! ;)
@Cathy – Fret not! But do be aware, and play with your language to see how you can influence results for the better.
@Rachel – Having that in the forefront of your mind is going to surely give you some great impact.
@Jeri – One of the best psychological tricks you can use with kids is to use “would you” when you’d like them to do something. “Would you pick up your clothes? Would you put your plate on the counter?” Surprising how quickly they’ll answer yes!
@Factfile – Bingo, you’ve got the right of it – and the first sentence you used was like nails on a chalkboard for me. I like the second much better!
@Kei – And spread the action, too :)
@Jeannie – Ah, yeah, see? Perfect example right there. Just shifting to more positive language can have some great effects on our mood and that of the people around us.
@Jen – Especially online. Communication plays a huge role in our daily work.
@Lexi – YES! YES. I once worked on a pamphlet for battered women, and it had been RIFE with language that definitely didn’t make any of the readers feel empowered, strong and confident. (I nixed all that, thank goodness!)
Kayla
August 4th, 2010 at 12:21 pmGreat post — I didn’t realize how much I used negative words until now, and I can see how it could definitely affect how I interact with clients. “Don’t hesitate” is probably my biggest vice! I’ll surely be considering this in the future to see if I get more, or better, responses from those that I work with.
Jane
August 4th, 2010 at 12:48 pmExcellent article! I’ve used those same phrases (“don’t hesitate”, etc.) in an attempt to be polite. Once you point it out, I can easily see what a difference it makes. Thanks for the head’s up!
Doron Orenstein
August 4th, 2010 at 1:35 pmWow, very interesting article, especially since I end so many of my emails with “If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to get in touch.”
:)
Thanks!
gordan
August 4th, 2010 at 1:58 pmI couldn’t agree more
Todd
August 4th, 2010 at 2:11 pmI couldn’t not disagree any less.
Katie
August 4th, 2010 at 2:48 pmGreat topic! This is true of marketing copy as well. For example, saying “Have an unforgettable experience” instead of “Have an experience you’ll never forget.”
garhol
August 4th, 2010 at 3:00 pmPlease tell that the title is a joke and no-one has seen fit to comment on it yet. The addition of “of” is possibly more infuriating than the use of double negatives. Ranks just belowthe use of “more then” in place of “more than”.
Kathryn Pless
August 4th, 2010 at 3:10 pmI agree. I noticed this a while back that much of the way I communicate was negative. Excellent article and definitely something to think about the next time we talk to clients.
Matt
August 4th, 2010 at 4:10 pmThis really makes me think about all of those emails that I have sent in the past.
Great article.
Jordan Walker
August 4th, 2010 at 4:56 pm@ James
Might I humbly recommend Kopi Luwak when you find a bombastic comment from a non-writer with small pen syndrome. haha
Allen
August 4th, 2010 at 7:02 pmI have read articles like this one, and they all do point to the same thing. Understanding yourself speaking or writing copy can help you effectively use it to persuade a potential client. When I communicate in person or through email to a lead I act as if I have the job already and we are ready to proceed. Confidence!
James Chartrand - Men with Pens
August 4th, 2010 at 8:03 pm@Kayla – Once you start looking hard, your brain’s triggered and you spot it all over. Then you go, “How could I not have seen that!?”
@Jane – See, that’s the thing – we’re taught it’s polite and good manners… but who’s tested whether it comes across that way? Time to revise!
@Doron – It’s one of the most common negative language phrases I see, actually – now you know what to write instead :)
@Gordan – I couldn’t appreciate it any less. ;)
@Todd – You got all tricky there and used a double negation – couldn’t not actually means you could, so you DO disagree! AUGH!! ;)
@Garhol – We left that in just for you to find, my friend. :D
@Kathryn – Test the results you receive, too!
@Matt – You and Doron need to get together ;)
@Jordan – That’s two people who’ve mentioned Kopi Luwak this week to me. I should go find out what this elusive mystery is, eh? Then offer it to those bombastic commentors. Hmmmmmm….!
@Allen – Confidence goes a long, long way. Especially when Kopi is involved. ;)
Deke
August 4th, 2010 at 8:07 pmFormer Reagan speechwriter Peggy Noonan noted in one of her books that whenever she would present the president with a speech, he’d comb through it and change all the negative language to positive equivalents. So expressions like “I’ll never forget…” became “I’ll always remember.” I’ve applied this same tactic in writing and editing speeches and other copy for clients — it’s a simple little thing that always gets a good response.
TheAL
August 4th, 2010 at 8:32 pmWill be taking a lot of this into consideration! Many thanks for this very helpful article.
nikos lianeris
August 5th, 2010 at 5:38 amTotally agree with your post! Personally I try to use the words to write my texts in a way that will make my future client fell emotions like friendliness,warmness and things like that.I try to use words like “together” “your needs” etc. I don’t like to command my client to do things like “buy now”,or “hire me”
Tim
August 5th, 2010 at 7:18 amThis is copywriting 101. If you want to persuade: a) avoid negative phrases, b) replace modal verbs with actionable verbs, c) prefer multiple short sentences over punctuation.
Chip Tudor
August 5th, 2010 at 9:28 amWhen I first started out as a freelance copywriter, using negative words was a tendency I had to break. Thanks for the reminder.
Kelsey
August 5th, 2010 at 12:06 pmI hate when people say “don’t hesitate”. I think I get the same feeling/reaction that you did. :)
SJL Website Design
August 6th, 2010 at 5:15 amNice post!! I will definitely think twice before sending an email with any negativeness in now!!!
Thanks.
JeffW
August 6th, 2010 at 1:16 pmInteresting read, although the article seems to lack sources from which you have drawn your conclusions. How do you know that it works this way? Is there empirical evidence that you used?
Rob
August 6th, 2010 at 3:56 pmI don’t hate this post, in fact, I really don’t dislike it at all. It makes so many points that are not bad, and I doubt I will go one more minute without using your ideas.
;-)
I have a lot of work to do. Thanks!
Pedro
August 7th, 2010 at 4:16 pmI don’t get the same reaction at all, in fact they are just words on a page. You have attached this negative connotation.
Personally, I don’t believe the authors are negative people, in fact I would go so far as to say that is a very foolish assumption, like supposing all people who wear beanies are criminals, and not to be trusted.
“Don’t hesitate” is a meaningless cliche, like “in all honesty” which behave as fillers and pauses in discourse, syntactic sugar, you might say. Time to move on, I think…
James Chartrand - Men with Pens
August 7th, 2010 at 4:37 pm@Deke – Oh, I think I’d heard that myself somewhere – that’s a good story for sure!
@TheAl – You’re welcome!
@Nikos – As long as those warm friendlies land you clients, then you’re on the right track.
@Tim – Actually, that’s not what they taught in copywriting 101, but I agree they’re great rules of thumb!
@Chip – Old habits die hard. It’s good to have a refresher every now and then. (Though I believe Tim disagrees…)
@Kelsey – Now you know where to point them ;)
@SJL – Good. Onwards!
@Jeff – There have been studies done and this is also pretty basic psychology, so some googling should pull you up the data you need. Or, you can test the theory yourself on some unsuspecting friends :)
@Rob – NAILS ON A BLACKBOARD, MAN!
@Pedro – Ask anyone who’s ever received a “Dear John” letter if it’s just words on a page, and I doubt they’d agree. Words carry emotional impact, and that’s simply a fact of life.
(I only wish I were so powerful as to decide the world’s negative connotations! I’d attach it to carrots, I think. I never did like carrots much.)
Also, not sure where you came to the conclusion the authors were negative people – if anyone’s making assumptions on that, it wouldn’t be me. They were two great people whom I like very much.
Anyways. Think about them carrots! ;)
Rob
August 7th, 2010 at 5:08 pm@James
It worked! :)
Really, great post James, very thought provoking reminders, thanks for all the tips.
@Pedro
I think the point is an author does not always intend to be negative, but certain words and phrases have intrinsic negative value and reactions to humans–it’s unavoidable on some psychological level. And it’s best to be aware of that, especially when you’re trying to evoke a positive outcome with your copy.
I agree “in all honesty” and “don’t hesitate” are bad, but they are far from “meaningless.” In fact they imply in some circumstances that you might be “dishonest” and that you might have a reason “to hesitate.” Bad for copywriting for sure.
Pedro
August 7th, 2010 at 5:27 pmI didn’t realise this was a site with a strong copywriting focus, in which case, it all makes sense, you should aim for best practice.
I still think someone using a double negative in an email shouldn’t be judged as unfit “to partner up on a joint venture”. That seems preposterous.
As for comparing the impact of “Don’t hesitate to contact me” with a “Dear John” letter, that is risible. This is an ill-conceived attempt at reductio ad absurdum.
Paul
August 9th, 2010 at 1:48 amWow! Never saw it that way. Great perspective! :) However, am I missing something or am I the only person who doesn’t FEEL negative at all when I am told things like “Don’t hesitate…”? Do you have concrete studies to prove the ideas presented here?
Paul Cunningham
August 9th, 2010 at 6:29 amUsed to have this problem in my old customer service jobs.
“Unfortunately we’ve sold out” vs “Thats a very popular widget, I can place one on priority order for pickup this week”
“Unfortunately thats not included in your support contract…” vs “Yes we offer that as a premium service…”
Some people never grasp the concept though.
James Chartrand - Men with Pens
August 9th, 2010 at 6:30 amI have to admit being quite surprised by the number of people who’ve requested back-up studies and empirical data to prove this post. The scepticism is really high… which is kind of ironic for a post on negative language.
This is basic psychology and perception, so if you sit down with Google and search for even just 15 minutes, you’ll come up with plenty of studies that show people slow down and stop for negative words, emotions and language, and that we all as humans focus on negative events in general. How we perceive the world and the meaning of events to interpret it via perception is also easily searchable.
But what surprises me is why people are asking for proof. I haven’t made any claims that would require empirical data (that I’m aware of), and I don’t really see why empirical data is going to help when the post is about “Do you use negative words,” and “How to be more positive in your writing.”
Being positive now requires proof? An intriguing reaction.
Anyways, I did pick up Googl, and here are some links to plenty of highly interesting studies, articles and documents about negative emotion, language and perception thereof:
http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/DyeHard/story?id=460987&page=1
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2005/01/050123213111.htm
http://ccat.sas.upenn.edu/~haroldfs/dravling/negation/negativewords.html
http://www1.voanews.com/learningenglish/home/a-23-a-2005-02-15-4-1-83123807.html?renderforprint=1
http://web.mit.edu/bnl/pdf/Kensinger_Emo03.pdf
http://www.ewi-psy.fu-berlin.de/einrichtungen/arbeitsbereiche/allgpsy/media/media_publikationen/papers/Kuchinke_etal_05_NeuroImage.pdf
Interested parties might also want to contact Robert Schrauf, a linguistics expert with a rather serious resume. He is the man who wrote the 2005 study I quoted in this article:
http://cls.psu.edu/people/files/faculty/schrauf_robert.pdf
James Chartrand - Men with Pens
August 9th, 2010 at 6:34 am@Paul:
I think they might be waiting for empirical data. ;)
JeffW
August 9th, 2010 at 6:41 amSpeaking of empirical data, could you give one or two links to scientific research that support your statements?
James Chartrand - Men with Pens
August 9th, 2010 at 6:43 am@Jeff – I wrote a comment earlier with a bunch of links, but it’s stuck in moderation right now. It’s coming.
But I’m curious: Which statements require support?
JeffW
August 9th, 2010 at 6:45 amWell, the main statement that using negatives leads to negative effects.
I know it sounds logical, and it may be very true, but that doesn’t mean it is, right?
James Chartrand - Men with Pens
August 9th, 2010 at 6:52 am@Jeff – I agree – not all logic is true, and it’s great to be critical thinkers about what we read. I do that myself.
Which is why I haven’t made any statement in this post that says “negative brings negative effects”. Everything is “might,” “can,” “could,”… Not “will”. I very, VERY rarely use absolutes in any of my writing, because we can always trust that somewhere, there’s an exception.
But what confuses me (highly) is that several commentators are asking for proof that being nice gets you farther. If we’ve become that skeptical of life and interacting with our fellow peers, we’re in serious trouble indeed!
JeffW
August 10th, 2010 at 5:53 amhi James,
You wrote that you are confused by the skepticism in some of the comments.
I think you’re mixing up two things: I don’t think that using negatives necessarily means that one is not being nice or positive. Am I not being nice if I say: Don’t hesitate to contact me?
Although you are not using absolutes all the time, I do think your article seems to suggest pretty strongly that the use of negative language leads to undesired results and that we should avoid it to better our communication. In one or two of your comments, you even stated that this is just ‘basic’ psychology and perception. But if it were all so clear and basic, wouldn’t that make your article kinda superfluous?
I scanned quickly through the articles and pdf’s in the links, but none of them seem to support the assumption that using negatives in language leads to negative effects. What I read is that they merely conclude that people use more negative than positive language, and these studies refer to words that represent emotions, such as ‘joy’ and ‘anger’. They don’t refer to using phrases like ‘Don’t ‘. But if I overlooked certain conclusions, please correct me.
Again, it may be very true that avoiding negatives will get you farther, and I’ll probably even think of it when I communicate with clients or people in general – just to stay on the safe side! One of the reasons i responded to your post is that subjects like these interest me, and I would love to find out if really works like this. And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with skepticism when it comes to blog posts with tips about changing one’s behaviour ;).
James Chartrand - Men with Pens
August 10th, 2010 at 7:05 amHey Jeff,
Well, that helps explain where you’re coming from, so I appreciate that.
I really would invite you to give the articles and pdfs I linked to a really good read, versus scanning quickly. You’ll see that there’s a lot more to them than what you mentioned – several of them mention that we process negative word associations much differently than we do positive language, and several of them also mention people stop and slow down at negative language references. If that’s not a sample of how using negatives in language leads to negative effects, I’m not sure what is.
Although I can possibly think of one other: take a look at the evening news, close your eyes and listen to the words they use for 30 minutes while discussing attacks, crashes, deaths, plagues, fires, etc. There’s a really good chance that the words have a negative effect – once you open your eyes, I doubt you feel like throwing a party.
Another suggestion is that you may want to brush up on some influence and persuasion strategies from sales psychology and consumer behaviourism references. You’ll find a great deal of information about people’s perception of positive and negative, and what they do when faced with it. There’s far too much for me to go into here, and I think we’ve already tossed this subject around enough.
If you want some serious backup and proof that negative language does influence people, I invite you to get in touch with Robert, who would be the expert to heckle :) I’m just the writer around here.
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