Learning To Say “No” Nicely — How to Keep From Burning Bridges
Posted June 22, 2009 in How-To, Productivity
It’s scary to turn work down from a client.
Saying “no” could easily upset them, and it’s very possible that they might even get mad at you. For all you know, they might write you off as a freelancer — never to call on you for work again.
No freelancer that I know ever wants to risk losing a client because they turned down work.
For this reason, and many others, freelancers often agree to take on projects that they really don’t have the time to do properly.
However, squeezing the new work into an already full schedule could mean making mistakes (or even worse, compromising on quality). The result is often disappointment on the part of the client and frustration on the part of the freelancer.
It seems to be a problem with no good answer, but is it really? Is it possible to keep a client even after you’ve refused work from them?
Let’s examine some steps that you can take when a client contacts you with work that you don’t really have time (or desire) to do.
A Problem Scenario . . .
Here’s the scenario:
Your schedule is packed. You’re working on multiple client projects already and you’re in a crunch to get them finished. Suddenly and unexpectedly, a long-time client (let’s call him “Sam”) contacts you and asks you to take on his “tiny” project, due the day after tomorrow.
Now, you’re in a bind. You know that if you complete Sam’s project you probably won’t be able to meet your other deadlines. But, in the past Sam has given you a lot of work.
What’s a freelancer to do?
. . .And Some Possible Solutions
An office colleague mine used to have a sign over her desk that read “Poor Planning on Your Part Does Not Make an Emergency on My Part.” I didn’t fully understand it then, but now I know why she put it there. (I don’t know who originated this saying, but I’ve since seen it all over the Internet.)
Of course, saying those words to a client might be a little harsh. Instead, here are some gentler approaches that might help save a client relationship:
- Negotiate the deadline. A deadline is often just an arbitrary date. If you ask, the client may accept a different deadline. I remember once I worked long hours and weekends to turn in a freelance project on time . . . only to later get an e-mail from the client that said something like this, “I’ve been on vacation so I am just now reviewing your work, but it looks good.“
- Negotiate the scope. Maybe the client will accept less work (maybe just a draft or a concept) on their desired date or the project could be divided into several parts. There are many other ways that scope could be modified. Be creative! Without checking with the client, however, you’ll never know whether or not the scope is flexible.
- Outsource the work. If you have another freelancer that you regularly outsource work to (and if your client is okay with it), you can send this work to them. Of course, as the outsourcer you will oversee the project and monitor the quality. All client communications will come through you.
- Refer the client elsewhere. When none of the other options work, you may have to wash your hands of this project (although hopefully not of this client). Refer the client to another reliable freelancer that you know and trust. The risk here is that the client may prefer the new freelancer to you, but at least you will leave the client with the positive impression of having helped them.
The truth is that once in a while you will encounter an unreasonable client with last minute work who won’t be satisfied with any of the above solutions. When faced with this situation you will need to decide whether or not you want to work with them.
In most cases, if the client is completely unwilling to compromise, you will probably be better off avoiding the work.
What Would You Do?
If you faced the scenario above (a client contacting you with last minute work when you are already busy), what would you do?
What about some other scenarios where you might have to turn down work from a client? have you ever had to deal with this?
Share your stories in the comments.
Related posts:
- How To Balance Freelancing With A Full-Time Job Without Burning Out
- How To Keep The Freelancing Spark (Without Burning Out)
About the author: Laura Spencer is a freelance writer from North Central Texas with over 20 years of professional business writing experience. If you liked this post, then you may also enjoy Laura’s blog about her freelance writing experiences, WritingThoughts. Laura is also on Google+.
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26 Comments
Matt Keegan
June 22nd, 2009 at 2:32 pm“No” is one word that freelancers should never be afraid of using. In fact, I think if we’re not truthful with our clients, then we do them and us a disservice.
I only have a certain amount of time each day to successfully accomplish my tasks. Therefore, that time is valuable and I don’t have either the time or the energy to be anything less than honest with my clients.
I tell my children that in this life you can’t please everyone, though you can certainly attempt to provide what you are able to do. Just this morning a client made a demand that I thought wasn’t reasonable and I told them so. I already agreed to go over and beyond on a couple of small points, but their third point — which had to do with waiting on payments depending on third party approval — I thought was wrong.
Steve Atkinson
June 22nd, 2009 at 2:39 pmThere are many reasons to say ‘No’. And not having enough time to complete a new project with others is certainly one of them.
In this case one way is to go to Sam and simply tell him, “You really haven’t given me enough notice to be able to complete your request as well as those that I am currently in the process of completing.”
Most times Sam or whoever will understand. A good business person will accept a honest answer and a ‘No’ while they may not accept a ‘Yes’ with bad results.
Todd
June 22nd, 2009 at 2:41 pmThis is often a problem I come across, but in a bit of a different scenario. I work in-house for a large corporation and my “clients” are the different business groups and functions of the company so I don’t have an option to turn them away most of the time.
Managing expectations and massaging egos becomes a large part of the process to make sure everyone is happy and the work can all still be done to the quality it deserves.
I’m interested to hear the input of others in the freelancing situation or a similar situation to my own.
Laura Spencer
June 22nd, 2009 at 2:55 pmGreat comments!
While I agree with the overall points made here I have to confess that in the past I have sometimes been the freelancer who was afraid to say “no.” However, it is true that most clients are reasonable and will work with you to adjust a deadline so that you can produce quality work.
Todd, in your situation can you negotiate scope or deadline? I understand that you can’t turn work down – but perhaps you can get them to modify their expectations somehow.
Katharine
June 22nd, 2009 at 5:50 pmI have found that occasionally having to say no actually makes me more attractive to clients, both new ones and old ones. They seem to think “Wow! If she’s that in demand, she must be *really* good!” I thank them for thinking of me for their project, let them know I truly wish I could take on the project, refer them if I can, and let them know that I’d love to have a shot at helping them out with their next project. Works like a charm!
Todd
June 22nd, 2009 at 6:17 pmI can try to, and it can really go one of two ways
1. I tell them the situation and ask them to either sit tight or use a “bandaid” temporary solution and they accept and are patient.
or 2. they don’t accept and get mad, but still have to wait or use a temporary solution.
The job becomes more bureaucratic and learning who should take priority and who can wait without calling my boss and complaining (Luckily my boss is very understanding and knows I’m handling my workload as best I can).
Unfortunately, it’s usually the people who are understanding and patient that end up getting bumped down over and over and end up waiting the longest. It’s something I discuss often with my colleagues and it’s hard to come to any other real solution other than “the higher level executive that is asking, the faster it gets done”, even if there’s clients that have already been waiting 9 months for a project to even be started.
At that point, I just have to take a deep breath and accept the politics of Corporate America and be happy to have a job doing something that I love doing.
Jennifer Escalona
June 22nd, 2009 at 7:57 pmThis directly touches on what had to be my very worst freelancing mistake. A client I’d worked for a few weeks before asked me to do a job outside of my area of expertise. I was a baby freelancer at the time, and made the rookie mistake of “giving it a shot” but quickly realized that it would be cost-prohibitive for me to spend a lot of time working on something that probably wouldn’t end up looking very good anyway.
To salvage the situation, I emailed the client the next day and recommended a friend who did that type of work. Luckily, because I had been up front about my lack of experience in that particular line of writing, my extremely silly, immature, rookie mistake didn’t damage my relationship with the client (or at least I still work for them from time to time.) I still kick myself about the time I should have just said “no” though, and I, of course, think long and hard about a job before accepting it just so I can avoid that uncomfortable situation.
I hope someone learns from my rookie mistake!
Laura Spencer
June 22nd, 2009 at 8:36 pmKatharine – I love your attitude! You’re exactly right.
Todd – It sounds like you are making the best of a difficult situation. Fortunately, your boss is understanding.
Jennifer – Great story. That’s a perfect example of what I’m talking about.
Jennifer Bourn
June 22nd, 2009 at 9:35 pmNO is a huge word to learn when you are self-employed! Everytime I think I’ve got it conquered, I learn a whole new lesson. Have a client right now I should have said no to. I felt it in my gut, but took her on anyway because she was a referral from a branding expert I highly respect. She presented her branding materials from the expert, which clearly explained her brand message, vision, description, personality, mission, audience demographic. It is a great tool. I have always had HUGE success designing for this expert’s clients.
Until now. The client uses an animal in her coaching – we’ll say dogs. Everything in her brand manual was focused around dogs, her methods revolve around dogs. We spoke and she agreed she’d like to see logo drafts with dogs. But other than that she didn’t want anything to do with the process. She couldn’t answer any of my questions – she had ZERO opinions. Nothing when I asked about the colors she likes/dislikes, type preferences, type solution or icon or combination. Nothing. All she could say was “This isn’t my area of expertise. I don’t know. Isn’t that your job? I gave you my brand manual.”
So, I went from the brand manual and she HATED everything I gave her. She expected to be blown away with something that was “perfectly her” and all she can tell me is I don’t like them. No feedback. No comments on the colors, no comments on the type, nothing again.
Again, all she could say is “This is supposed to be your expertise. You were highly recommended. I don’t want dogs in my logo. I don’t know why you put them in there.”
HELLO! Every bit of info you gave me centered around dogs, your methods of teaching use dogs, your process and approach is based off dogs, your photos have dogs in them… and you wouldn’t communicate with me anything else! Errrrrr….
I somehow think it needs to be communicated that Designer’s aren’t magicians. We’re not mind readers. We can’t pull a brand that is “authentically you” when you don’t want to or don’t care to participate in the process.
This is definitely a time where I should have said NO and I didn’t. Lesson learned. File this in my “red flags to watch out for” file.
I refunded part of her payment, as outlined in my contract and we parted ways.
Now, when I do recognize a red flag, I will usually tell them I am too busy and refer them to comeone else – tell them I am not the best fit and refer them to comeone else.
writersresort
June 22nd, 2009 at 11:34 pmI shared in a previous blog entry about not turning down a huge project, and an existing deadline that I only found out two days before. At present time, I am still struggling to finish it up. When the phone rings, I simply don’t know what to say. You can see my inexperience in freelance writing. I’m a lifestyle writer and my project’s business. Jennifer, you’ve handle the situation so much wiser than I. Now I’m that ‘extremely silly, immature, rookie’ that you described :P and I think I may have damaged my relationship with the client already. A lot of things shared at the Freelance Folder and other freelance blogs, I don’t understand them … until they really happen to me… In fact, I am going the opposite direction of doing what I’m not supposed to do. When it happens, I read the blog and I go – ah ha! There is goes – this happened to other freelancers before and she or he said not to do this… This includes, of course, my weakness in negotiating and saying no to clients on project other relevant details. Boy, oh, boy. Am I so screwed…
Jennifer Escalona
June 22nd, 2009 at 11:38 pmWritersresort, don’t beat yourself up! I knew I wasn’t the only “silly, immature, rookie” out there (and boy, that sounds mean when I’m not talking about myself!).
Seriously, no beating yourself up allowed. Just be honest with the client. Even if you lose them, there are other clients out there and you’ve learned a valuable lesson. Every time you are tempted to take on something like this, you’ll remember your past experience and go the other direction. I know I sure have!
Richard
June 23rd, 2009 at 12:05 pm“I don’t feel I’m the best person to handle that task.”
Always works for me
Karen Swim
June 24th, 2009 at 6:25 pmNegotiating deadlines usually works for me. if that fails I refer them to someone else who “i trust and is very qualified to handle the job.” I learned early on that deadlines are often arbitrary so it no longer scares me to question them. My clients expect me to be busy so I begin client relationships by setting expectations on what I need to do my best work. However, I do leave billable time in my schedule for rush projects (because sometimes there is a legitimate rush) and my clients know and appreciate this.
supremegraphx
July 3rd, 2009 at 5:39 pmyes, burning bridges is not a good idea.you never know when you might need them.jsut kiss and make up is what i say!!
Chrisitne Conklin
February 20th, 2011 at 12:02 pmOutsource the work. Maybe this time. Your time is important too!
Chrisitne Conklin
February 20th, 2011 at 12:25 pmMy prior post is suppose to say ;
Outsource the work just this one time. Use someone you trust with your client. Your time is valuable too! ‘Outsourcing’ , is what stuck out the most in this article. This is a very good article, as are all I’ve read by Freelance Folder . I will forward this to others.
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