My Biggest Freelancing Challenge (and How I Didn’t Solve It)

Free Updates via Email, Facebook, or Twitter!

My Biggest Freelancing Challenge (and How I Didn’t Solve It)

Posted July 5, 2010 in Lifestyle

My biggest freelancing challenge is also the primary reason I began freelancing in the first place: my children.

I started dreaming about working from home when I first became a Mom almost 16 years ago. But, back then, I had no idea there were so many ways to earn an income without a regular job. Besides, as my family grew, we needed the medical coverage my job provided.

Fast forward many years later: I have three children and have become Internet-savvy. My head is swimming with the many possibilities for self-employment. With the guidance of experienced, entrepreneurial Moms, I set up shop as a freelance writer and online marketer.

I am giddy. I am living my dream, at last!

And then reality hits. An 18-month-old toddler needs constant attention and does not understand that Mommy needs to be at the computer for hours at a time so that we can buy groceries. To make it worse, he stops needing two naps a day. The house gets dirty again a couple of hours after I vacuum. Plus, older children, even a teenager, still need Mom after all.

A few weeks after my dream became a reality, I was almost crying in frustration. How was I going to get any work done if my family–particularly The Little One–was demanding my attention constantly?

Many Possible Solutions

I had several options:

Put the Little One in Daycare–Mothers who are employed do it. I have a job to do as well, so why don’t I do it, too? Find a good, reliable, affordable day care, and enroll my youngest child there. Sounds like an excellent option if I want to be able to work from home full time. However, I did not like this option at all! I left full-time employment precisely to be with my children. Besides, no daycare accepted children on a part-time basis (not where I live anyway). So, I quickly dropped this option.
Find a Mother’s Helper–Look for a nearby mother or student who’s looking for part-time work and have her come to my home a few hours a week to look after The Little One while I get stuff done. This was a very attractive option for me. I get to stay with The Little One, but still manage to work at home. I asked my friends for referrals, hoping to find somebody I could trust. Unfortunately, I didn’t find any. And, no, I wasn’t about to hire somebody from Kijiji or Craigslist! Also, it didn’t make sense to hire a student when I had students of my own, living in the same house already. Which brings us to the next option…
Share Child Care Responsibilities with Family Members–Family members make good child care providers because you trust them (most of the time, that is). They’ll often provide occasional child care for free, plus your child is already familiar with them. Unfortunately, my family lives quite far away, but I do have older children and a hubby who pitch in when they’re home from school or work. Of course, The Girls need to finish their homework first, so when there’s school their “opportunity” to help me out is quite limited. However, I do find that I can get tons more work done in the summer.
Work Only When the Little One Is Asleep–I know many Moms who’ve accomplished a lot just by doing this. While I’ve done this on occasion, particularly on emergency basis (such as when a deadline is fast approaching), I find that I can’t do this every single day. My brain’s “prime time” is in the morning. At night, I just can’t think straight or write very well. However, if you’re a night owl, then this is a perfect option for you.

My other problem is that I really get wiped out when I try to go by on very little sleep for days on end. I get cranky, my skin breaks out, and I eventually just pass out by 8 p.m. If I keep pushing myself, I get ill–which makes it even harder to get work done!

How I (Didn’t) Solve My Problem

I chose to just wait my problem out. The Little One is growing up fast. He has learned to keep himself occupied long enough for me to get spurts of work done throughout the day. He takes two-hour naps in the afternoons. Unless I fall asleep with him, I get to write without interruptions during that time.

And, guess what? He’s going to start school this September. Yes, I will be all alone in the house all day (Ontario is beginning to implement full-day kindergarten, and my son’s school is one of the pilot schools). In just a couple of months, I will be “free” to work for seven hours a day… if I want to.

Managing Expectations

An essential part of “solving” my freelancing dilemma was to manage my expectations.

My frustration stemmed from thinking that I could get full-time work done at home, even when I had a toddler with me.

When I decided that I would only work part time, and that I wasn’t going to make as much income as I wanted to (for now), then I stopped feeling frustrated.

This meant limiting the number of assignments I accepted. It meant giving up my other interests, hobbies and social obligations. It meant losing lots of sleep now and again. It meant being patient, as I put my bigger goals on hold, because my youngest child needed me.

I constantly remind myself that my time will come.

Tell Me

Did I miss a solution that could have worked for me? If you’re a freelancing Mom with small children, how do you balance family and work?

What is YOUR biggest freelancing challenge? What are you doing to overcome it? Would a change in perspective make your challenge virtually disappear?

About the author: Lexi Rodrigo is the creator of The Savvy Freelancer, a blog that's all about achieving creative and financial freedom through freelancing. Check out Lexi's free guide, 31 Days to Start Your Freelancing Business (or Make Yours A Better One).

← Previous Post Random PostNext Post →

The Unlimited Freelancer is Now Only $19

Unleash the true potential of your business. Get The Unlimited Freelancer and start transforming your freelance business,
now only $19.

39 Comments

Freelance FactFile
July 5th, 2010 at 8:38 am

I don’t have any children so this is not my freelance challenge. The main challenge I have is the feast and famine syndrome. I have a quiet month and then it all goes crazy because everyone wants stuff written at the same time. Oh, and procrastination. I’ve been ‘busy’ all morning on stuff but haven’t actually managed to start the project I’m SUPPOSED to be doing today…

I’m impressed at your ability to produce such regular – and interesting – blog posts, Lexi.Do you spend all night at your computer??
Lexi Rodrigo
July 5th, 2010 at 9:50 am

No way, Carole! My family keeps me from doing that. Not only because I need to do stuff for them, but more importantly, because they demand that I extricate myself from the computer once in a while and actually spend time with them, LOL.

When we go on vacation, they always ask, “Mom, are you bringing your laptop?” And the older kids get upset if I so much as go online while on vacation.

If I didn’t have kids, I would probably spend all day and night at the computer, simply because I can get away with it. And also because I’m enjoying what I do so much, it doesn’t feel like work (most of the time).
William Rivera
July 5th, 2010 at 10:35 am

Hi Lexi,

I think you are a great mother! :)

I like to have always my laptop with me. Right now I ill be traveling to Japan and I think that at least I could take some time to read. I follow a couple of blogs daily. That ill keep me on the road! But yeah on my vacations I’m thinking to have my laptop with me.
Drew Clarke
July 5th, 2010 at 10:42 am

You say there were so many ways to earn an income.

What are they?
Michelle Mista
July 5th, 2010 at 11:53 am

I completely understand not wanting to put your child in day care. I left the corporate job and pursued freelancing to work at home to be with my child. But my baby was a high needs baby. When she was little, she would only nap on me which made working difficult. As a toddler, she demands a lot of my attention, more so than the average toddler. She is in half-day school right now for non-work related reasons but I’ve found that this is the ONLY way I’ve gotten to work at all since she is so demanding. Good luck at waiting it out!
Jordan Walker
July 5th, 2010 at 11:58 am

Those are excellent sentiments on balancing family and freelance. I currently do not have children, but would like some. My biggest challenge as a freelancer is finding enough time in the day to get projects done. Like last night, I worked till 4:30 am trying to get caught up, and this morning another list of projects looms.
Kelly McCausey
July 5th, 2010 at 12:25 pm

Lexi, ‘wait it out’ is the perfect solution and honestly, the thought brings a tear to my eye.

When I started to work at home my son was eleven. You know I was a single parent working full time too so my time was definitely at a premium. I refused to fall into the ‘gotta do it big and gotta do it now’ trap that many entrepreneurial moms fall into.

Business growth was important to me – but nearly as important as my son. I limited my time at work on my online business and I didn’t miss out on what was most important.

Sean just turned 20 – can you believe that?? He LOVES my business and has never resented it even a little bit. He’s proud of what I’ve accomplished and has great memories of knowing that he could have my attention when he needed it.

Your kids are doing to feel the same way – obviously!!
Lexi Rodrigo
July 5th, 2010 at 12:53 pm

Well, Kelly, where do you think I got the line, “Your time will come”? Sound familiar?
Karine Delvare
July 5th, 2010 at 4:18 pm

Hi Lexi,

When we decided to have our first baby, I was tired of my job and wanted to go freelance, but I put it on hold as I thought having a baby and starting a freelance career at the same time didn’t sound like a great combination.

After only a few months, I was even more tired with the job, there was no pregnancy yet, and I was feeling so frustrated with these two facts that I decided to go freelance anyway. Pregnancy followed the month after (no wonder, I went from very frustrated to very happy, that helps a lot!) so I finally had to take responsibility for the combination.

I had a marvelous freelance time during my pregnancy, I was working full time from home, on great projects, and everything was going so well that I wanted to go on after my baby girl’s birth. I did not want to put her in day ware either, so I decided to reduce my work hours down to 60%.

I have to admit that did not work so well. I didn’t find as many clients, mainly because taking care of my baby would delight me so much I didn’t prospect as I should have. So, work slowed down rapidly, and came to a halt. I was very busy going out with my baby, happy as hell, and it took me two years to understand it was not only bad luck, I just could not take care of her as I wanted and still work. I stopped everything and declared myself officially as a stay-at-home mother.

There is a second baby in making now, and the first one is going to preschool soon, so I will have some hours back for me during the second half of the pregnancy. I will not try to go back to freelance for this short period of time, I will just work on personal projects that will help me get back in full glory when the freelance time will come again (somewhere in a far future…)

I felt the same frustration recently, when my personal projects tickled me again, but I couldn’t even find time for that. I started resenting my daughter for preventing me from doing things I love. But when I evaluated my priorities once again, and understood that in three years, my two children will be in school and I will be freelancing again, everything felt right again. It was hard to give up on that part, but I have a clearer picture of the future and see only great things ahead now. I may be able to work on personal projects a few hours a week, just to keep my passion alive and to slowly prepare my freelance come-back, but I don’t count on it a s a given anymore – I don’t want to feel that frustration again.

So, yeah, totally, my time will come :)
Ryan
July 5th, 2010 at 8:40 pm

I don’t have kids yet but I always wished I’d be the stay at home dad, hopefully close to a beach, that pumps out webby stufff and adds to the household income while the wife works the 8-7 at the office ;)

This is all based around the reality that kids/babies can look after themselves and I’m sure I’ll be in for a shock when I realise the obvious and know that they do not :)
Stephanie
July 5th, 2010 at 10:44 pm

Oh man, you have no idea how well I can relate to this. Except in my case, I turned into a mom three and a half months ago and am still learning the ropes of motherhood while doing my best to freelance.

It’s exactly how you put it really. I didn’t have a nanny until about a month after my baby’s birth but decided to get back to work after I was up and seemingly running again. Turns out the challenge of freelancing amplified five times with my baby’s 30 minute to an hour naps, her boredom (yes, she complains and wails when she’s bored), and if she wants to eat. Oh, plus the diaper changes.

In the end, my parents and my mother-in-law insisted I have a nanny to help me, “yaya” in our dialect here in the Philippines, and she really helped me by taking care of the little one while I was busy working. Of course I make sure to spend a couple of hours with my baby girl in between so that she’ll know and possibly feel Mommy’s presence all the time.
Issa
July 5th, 2010 at 10:50 pm

It must have been tough on your part and I’m amazed at how you handled everything. Thanks for the wonderful advice you posted here, Lexi. One of my biggest freelancing pet peeve is distraction. It’s really hard when it’s just a few feet away from you, yet, family will always be first on my list. I guess, it’s all about focus, discipline, and time management that makes a freelancer’s life as smooth as slate.
Carol Tice
July 6th, 2010 at 1:06 am

Ahh, the fantasy that mommy can work at home while the kids are about. If I even try to touch my computer, the kids all run over to it and scream “PRINT ME OUT A COLORING PAGE MOMMY!” You end up badly working and badly parenting. Now, on the hours I’m with them, I’m with them, period. Juggling both is a myth.

I’ve been full-time freelance since late ’05, and work while my kids are in school (thankfully they’re all school age now!). Before that we did crazy stuff…working weird hours, staggering my hours with my husband’s. But we’ve kept it to a big one day a week of after-school program. And sometimes those older kids get to take the younger ones off to a movie or the park, too.

It’d be great to not have to earn a living…but that’s just not reality for most of us.

I think the time that’s saved in freelancing from home is the commute time, which for me used to be close to 3 hours a day! That’s the quality time you get back. The minute I’m done, I come down the stairs from my office, and there we all are.
Vinh Nguyen
July 6th, 2010 at 1:29 am

My biggest challenge is timing! Everyone think that i’m alwasy free! That i can go out and do something for them anytime they want!
Then when projects don’t come any more, sometime, all project go in one day, and i become overload with the work! No bath, one meal, no sleep,…! Other time, even a week, no project comes…
Gjergji Kokushta
July 6th, 2010 at 3:09 am

Hi Lexi,

I have 14 month old baby and while reading your post I felt I was reading about me. I have a great support, my wife’s father. He’s been taking care of him since he was 3-4 months. But yesterday – I was home and I had plenty of work and I could not do much. Yesterday I was on my own and it’s not easy to take care and work in the same time. For sure I try to have a schedule, but on the other side I’m a full-time employee and part-time freelancer.. may I need to choose..
Katharine
July 6th, 2010 at 8:42 am

I lived through this with my two sons. I began my business as a freelance copyeditor 2 weeks after my middle child (my oldest son, who’s now 15) was born. (I was too scared to try freelancing when my daughter–my oldest–was a child. She’s now 27 and a mother herself.) We all survived, so I was back freelancing full time again 2 weeks after my youngest child (my youngest son, now 8) was born.

It was hard, yes, and I basically worked in spurts throughout the day. My husband’s job was an hour’s drive away, so he wasn’t around to help during most of the day. But when he arrived home, he took over child care and made dinner, and I got in a few hours of work with total concentration.

We live in an intergenerational household; my in-laws live in the dowstairs apartment within our two-story home. Having the in-laws around didn’t help me workwise until my mother-in-law retired. (My father-in-law is old school and was rather useless with babies and toddlers.) Then she’d watch my youngest (my older son was in school already) for a couple of short periods during the day, which helped me a lot. Before that, when my older son was a preschooler, I took him to our next-door neighbor’s in-home child care service for 3 hours a day, 3 days a week, so that he could have time with other small children and I could have some sane working time. I later did the same with my youngest.

Siince 2007, my husband has been self-employed too, so our sons have two parents home with them, and they absolutely love it. We love it too. And even though my early years of self-employment were kind of hairy, I’d do it all over again.
Sidney Rees
July 6th, 2010 at 10:26 am

This is one of the best articles I had ever read, is a cool topic about a real “problem” that most people never mention about freelancing (freelancers are kind of optimist people that sees a “pink world” and never mentions the problematic of freelancing).

I had learned a lot from this article, thank you for this BRILLIANT article.

(Pardon my english, I am a spanish native speaker)

Kind regards.

Sid
Minna
July 6th, 2010 at 4:52 pm

I didn’t really solve my problem either. I have a 3 and a 1 yr old. I’ve pulled them from daycare (it was getting too costly) and opted for a nanny. I’m saving a bit of money, but the hours I’m able to work are cut a bit, and with a crazy workload at the moment it’s still a problem :) I’m hoping to wait it out a bit, keep the nanny part-time so that I can do some work. I’ll have to say that I don’t know how anyone manages to work with kids around! It’s distracting enough if I am at home and working and they are stomping around upstairs!
Aarti
July 7th, 2010 at 2:38 am

Hi Lexi,

Great article and so true..People think when ur freelancing or working from home “oh so easy” but the fact is its really is a task to manage and balance both successfully. The key here is spending “quality time” rather than quantity with your little ones or family members. With your kid so young its difficult he will understand also when he sees mamma around he always wants u to be at his beck & call..I had the same problem when my kid was young now he is 4 and has got used to the idea of “working from home” so i guess only time will tell :D
joanna
July 7th, 2010 at 1:22 pm

I was acutely feeling this frustration today and was going to post something on Freelance Folder’s wall just so I could share my pain and there is your post!

I am starting my own business and feeling that pressure which someone else mentioned of having to do it all NOW. In the school year, the youngest is in a combo of pre-school and daycare for 20 hours a week which gives me time to work. My husband is also self-employed and the money just isn’t coming in but I can’t do much to help now that summer is here and I have both kids (4 & 7) home full-time.

It is so hard to admit that sometimes you just have to be mom, and that’s it (as if that’s not much in itself – ha!). I want to be working but can’t. The frustration is huge and the stress of no money even bigger. I have no solution today but glad to know others are facing the same dilemma – and being at peace with it.
echic
July 7th, 2010 at 8:09 pm

aww wow…somehow I can imagine the process you guys are going through !
Hollis
July 8th, 2010 at 1:12 pm

This ‘problem’ isn’t limited to just moms. I’m a dad of a 10 and 6 year old and have been facing the same thing for the last two years. My wife works a full time job away from home. The kids are home from school for the summer, and at the beginning of their vacation there was a ‘melt-down’ incident where they weren’t understanding that I simply couldn’t drop everything every day and go out and do vacation type stuff, and I had to lay the law down. Sometimes kids just have a hard time grasping that even though you’re home, you’re actually at work.

That said, since our little melt down, they’ve been much better about it. I make time whenever possible to do fun summer stuff, but I suppose it’s no more than the average working person. Once the new pool is here there will be more improvements :)

What I did find about school is that it doesn’t help as much as you’d think. You still have to take them there (in my case, anyway), and halfway through the afternoon still have to pick them up which can sometimes prove to be a pain in the butt. Really, they don’t go to school for as long as you’d think, the time somehow disappears during the school day.

But, all in all, we wouldn’t have it any other way. We made the decision before having kids that we weren’t going to use daycares or babysitters, which meant for the first few years Mom stayed home while I had a job, then when I jumped ship and became self employed Mom went back to work. Having one income for a few years meant lifestyle changes, but it was all worth it.
Liz
July 11th, 2010 at 11:44 am

I agree with Hollis that kids being at school is helpful, but it is not as if we get an uninterrupted 6 hour day with them gone. I have come to accept that when my 11 and 15-year old kids are in school, I may only get a 4 hours of work time in before someone needs my attention.

When they are at home during the summers, my ability to work uninterrupted is highly dependent on them being able to find activities that take them out of my living room (their favorite place to relax, but also the location of my computer) and to other parts of the house or places outside the home.

I spend more time stressing that I cannot get any work done while kids are home, and then feeling guilty that I am making them stay out of the best room of the house so I can work.

At this rate, I doubt they will be like Kelly M’s son, with positive memories of my business. They don’t value that this is the way their single mom is earning a living and that if she isn’t working, she isn’t going to be able to provide for their most basic needs. I do not have the luxury of “waiting until they are older”.
jactherat
September 12th, 2010 at 8:17 am

Hi Lexie
I’ve never quite cracked the free-lancing – dipping into between full-time work and babies. I’ve been published several times in mainstream print media, won a few prizes, but never got the momentum going to quit the day-job – too many financial burdens. But what I relate to so well is the “Mummy’s writing now and she needs some peace”. My beloved baby girl (who is about to turn 15) used to stop at my desk every time she passed to have a chat (study was in an odd thoroughfare part of the previous house – between bedrooms and living areas). No matter if i was clearly in the middle of something she always interrupted me! Now that she’s into her own creative pursuits she actually understands the zone you need to be in to work and/or create.

Women are brilliantly resourceful and patient and our children are only babies for a very short time. Don’t miss that – you’ll never get it back! Besides, they can inform and inspire you, too! My beloved babies feature in my infrequent blog – have a squiz if you have time – http://jactherat.com/blog/

All the best – Jac
Stella Aghenie
September 12th, 2010 at 4:15 pm

vFaith,Fear & Attitude, Our attitude can influence our faith. It’s up to us to influence our decisions today, to make a future we’re dreaming about. Our attitude can change everything. And we can get a lot of information based on the personal development from these blogs…
Barbara
September 12th, 2010 at 5:20 pm

Hi Lexi

I can so relate to your article as a mum of a 6 months old baby, 2 year old toddler and a nearly 6 year old. I’ve been working for myself for the last 6 years and everytime I’ve had another child my time got more and more precious!

I agree with all your suggestions especially to have realistic expectations of what is actually possible when working from home with children to alleviete the constant feeling of frustration. However sometimes it’s hard not to fall into the ‘excusitis’ trap justifying your inaction and blaming it on the kids, when really it boils down to procrastination and lack of focus on the task ahead.

I found there are a few more ideas that can make things easier for mums who work at home. These three ideas (and I’m sure there are more out there) will increase the productive time you have to work on your business and help not to take away from the playtime with your children.

1. Outsource
A very famous lady called Mary Kay Ash (voted greatest female entrepeneur in history in 1999) once said ‘Don’t waste dollar time doing penny jobs’ – my latest blog entry on http://www.barbaravonow.com is about this. Basically get someone else to do tasks that easily can be done by anyone else whilst you are concentrating on the things YOU are good at and that make you money. For example cleaning my house is really not my favourite occupation and frankly anyone can do it, so I pay a cleaner to come in a couple of hours every Monday (I probably could do with her coming again by Thursday, but once a week is a great start)! Periodically I also get help in with my office admin – again a task that is repetitive, can easily be done by anyone and this frees up my time to concentrate on the things that I’m good at and that grow my business!

2. Cook smart not hard
I cook my own meals, but I’ve got an array of receipes that are simple and don’t take longer than about 15-25 minutes to cook AND I often cook double portions such as Bolognese Sauce, Lasagne, etc to freeze for another day. All my babyfood is prepared like that too. I prepare different types of food (carotte, broccoli, mashed potatoes, pear, apple, mango, etc, blend it to a smooth puree and then freeze it in ice cube trays. Once frozen I pop it into a container ready to be defrosted portion wise.

3. Fresh air for the kids
And finally very important, take the kids out at least once a day even if it’s just an hour down to the park or playing in the garden. You may even be able to multi task and get a few phone calls done while they are playing or while walking there and back. Often I combine the trip with a visit to the shop or post office. I realised it was a false economy trying to get my work done without spending the time with them first (preferably outside). Once they’ve been out, they are so much quieter at home.

When you don’t make that much money in the beginning, it’s sometimes daunting to get an assistant in or to pay for baby sitting, but sometimes you have to take a calculated risk. And that means spending money to facilitate the growth of your business!

Hope one or the other reader might find this useful too.
I wish you all the success with your businesses you deserve!
Barbara

Trackbacks

Try searching "Getting Clients" or "Productivity"

Advertise On Freelance Folder

Free Report

Sign up for our product discount list to get a free copy of Why Some Freelancers Thrive and Others Barely Survive. You can unsubscribe anytime.

Forum Discussions

Real Online Work
Feb 10th, 2012 - 4:30 am
Online earning ways
Feb 10th, 2012 - 3:22 am
How to get freelance jobs
Feb 10th, 2012 - 3:14 am

View More Discussions

What Is Freelance Folder?

FreelanceFolder is a community for freelancers, entrepreneurs, work-at-home business owners, and web-workers. We strive to bring you the articles, information, and community you need to succeed. If there's anything specific you're looking for, please contact us and let us know! Learn more about us →

Meet Our Team...

Mason Hipp

Mason Hipp is a marketer, designer, and entrepeneur. Mason helps freelancers and small businesses of all types, and he is the current owner of FreelanceFolder.
Ritu B. Pant

Ritu is a freelance writer who has been involved in social media for several years. At the moment he is working on a variety of projects, but is always open to new ideas. You can always find him on twitter as @ritubpant.

Jon Phillips

Jon Phillips is a full-time freelancer, blogger and designer. He loves WordPress and plays guitar in a heavy act. He is also the founder of FreelanceFolder.
Laura Spencer

Laura Spencer is a freelance writer from North Central Texas with over 19 years of professional business writing experience. Together with FreelanceFolder, she wrote the guide on How To Start a Freelance Writing Business.

Name
Email

Discover how to use the best web design tools on the market plus increase your income to $125 (or more) per hour... Sign up here for a free test drive: