10 Ways to Keep Your Freelancing Business a Secret (HUMOR)

secret-freelancerAre too many people finding out that you’re a freelancer? Are you constantly bothered by those pesky requests for people wanting to engage you for your services? Are friends and family members referring new business to you?

If you really want to, you can make all that stop. All you need to do is become a secret freelancer. If no one knows you are a freelancer, no one will bother you about it.

Keeping your freelancing business a secret can be a challenge, though.

If you want to be a secret freelancer, this humorous post is for you. I share 10 ways you can keep your freelancing business under wraps.

Be sure to read the final paragraph, “Why Would You Want to Do This?”

How to Keep Your Freelancing Business a Secret

So, for whatever reason, you’ve decided to keep your freelancing business a secret. Here’s how to do it:

  1. Don’t tell friends or family. No one can know that you run a freelance business. It would be better for your friends and family to think you sit at home all day watching TV than for the secret to get out. Better yet, sit at home all day watching TV.
  2. Don’t fill out your profiles on social media. That default image that comes with new social media profiles is good enough for you. Never ever fill out your profile or refer to your freelancing business on social media in any way.
  3. Better yet, don’t have profiles on social media. Who needs social media anyway? It will only draw attention to you and someone might find out about your freelancing business. Delete any accounts you’ve already created and stay away from social platforms.
  4. Don’t answer your email promptly. If you don’t answer your email, clients and prospects will think you’ve gone out of business. If you wait long enough, they’ll stop sending you those bothersome emails and move on to a less secretive freelancer.
  5. Don’t network in person. No need to have an elevator pitch, but you’ll have to watch what you say around people. You might accidentally let it slip that you freelance. Better yet, stay away from people. If you don’t talk to anyone, you can’t spill the beans.
  6. Don’t blog. Blogs are a lot of extra work–who needs them. The freshly updated content will just cause the search engines to crawl your website more frequently and might cause it to rank better in the search engines. Better yet, see the tip below.
  7. Don’t have a website. A freelancing website is definitely a no no if you’re trying to become a secret freelancer. Even if you exclude contact information and leave off an about page someone might trace the site back to you.
  8. Don’t have a portfolio. You want your freelancing business to be the best kept secret on the planet, right? Well, then skip creating a portfolio. Since you’re a secret freelancer, you probably don’t have much to put in a portfolio anyway.
  9. Don’t apply for gigs. This may seem obvious, but many would-be secret freelancers mess up right here. They apply for a gig and the word gets out that they are a freelancer. Clients talk. If you apply for gigs, eventually someone will mention it.
  10. Don’t use your own name. Don’t use your freelancing business name either. Those names might somehow be traced back to you. Try something generic like, hmmm, John or Jane Doe. Or call yourself anonymous.

Why Would You Want to Do This?

Actually, I have no idea why anyone would want to become a secret freelancer, but it must be the goal of a lot of freelancers. I say this because I interact with freelancers often and I see them refusing to promote their freelance business in any way. I can only assume that they want to keep their business a secret.

If you haven’t figured it out yet, this post is a bit tongue-in-cheek. If you want to run a successful freelancing business and attract clients, you can’t keep it a secret. You have to get the word out there. You have to promote your business.

However, if you don’t care about earning income, go ahead and be a secret freelancer.

Hopefully, this post will be a wake up call for those freelancers who don’t market their services and are having trouble finding clients as a result. To learn more about marketing your freelancing business, check out the FreelanceM.ag post titled How to Contact Clients Directly and Find More Freelancing Work.

Your Turn

What are your best marketing tips?