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The Amazing Power of Personal Encouragement

Posted June 2, 2008 in Lifestyle 15 Comments »

Personal EncouragemetAs freelancers, we like to think of ourselves as being independent professionals who are pretty much able to get by totally on our own. We don’t really need help or feedback from others because, after all, we’re supposed to be beyond needing that.

At least, I sometimes think of myself that way.

I can personally testify, however, that receiving personal praise can make a tremendous difference in a freelancer’s outlook.

Today, I was fortunate enough to receive some kind words from a freelancing colleague that I respect and it has certainly brightened my outlook.

In fact, if I’m totally honest, I can still remember the first time that encouragement made a difference in my life. I was about ten years old. I was talking to a playmate, another girl in my school who I really admired. With wisdom well beyond her years, she said this to me:

Laura, I think that you could do anything if you really put your mind to it.


Her words instantly changed my outlook then, but they have also obviously made a long-term impact on me.

It has been decades since my playmate said those words and I still remember them. In fact, I’ve integrated her words into my own personality. Partially because of her praise, I am bold enough to constantly try new things because I know that I can do it.

Let’s take a look at the importance of encouragement to freelancers.

When Encouragement Helps

Encouragement is particularly helpful when three circumstances occur:

  • Someone who we respect delivers the encouragement. Everyone has someone that they look up to. Hearing that particular person say that you’ve done a good job can provide a tremendous boost to any freelancer’s self-esteem.
  • The encouragement is sincerely given. You can always tell when someone means what they’ve said, and there’s nothing better than receiving a heartfelt statement of appreciation.
  • The encouragement comes during a time when we really need to hear it. Every freelancer goes through some times that are more challenging than others. These are the times when encouragement can really make a difference.

When Encouragement Doesn’t Help

There are times when encouragement isn’t helpful, though. I’m sure everyone has reserved their share of so-called “encouragement” that actually made them feel worse.

Here are three times when encouragement doesn’t help:

  • When someone who you don’t respect delivers it. The truth is, some people’s feedback means a lot more than others.
  • When it’s not sincerely given. No one likes to receive praise when they know that the speaker doesn’t actually mean what they are saying. In fact, false encouragement can actually have the affect of discouraging, rather than encouraging.
  • When you don’t really believe that it is true. This is not a problem with the encourager, but rather with the freelancer receiving the encouragement. Yet, a surprising number of us have trouble hearing positive things about ourselves.

How To Get The Most of Encouragement

I’m often not as receptive to encouragement as I should be. Sadly, sometimes I have trouble accepting it, even when it is deserved.

Here are three ways to make the most of encouragement that you do receive:

  • Accept genuine encouragement graciously. Even if you feel awkward when you are receiving it, often you can look back and realize that the encouragement provided valuable feedback about what went right that you can use in the future.
  • Keep a file of encouragement that you have received for future reference. You can turn to this file to remind yourself that your work is valued when you face a particularly difficult or challenging project.
  • Make the most of praise from a business perspective. If someone has praised you, then they may be satisfied enough with your work that they are welling to provide a testimonial or serve as a reference for your business. Why not ask them?

How To Be An Encourager

One of the best ways to enhance your relationship with others is to become an encourager yourself. People like to be around and associate with positive people. Here are three ways that you can encourage others:

  • Look for the positive in those around you and when you find it express it freely.
  • Always, always be sincere in your compliments and praise of others.
  • Don’t forget to thank others when they have done something that you value.

Has encouragement made a difference in your freelancing career? If so, why not share how? :)

Laura

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About the author: Laura Spencer is a freelance writer from North Central Texas with over 18 years of professional business writing experience. If you liked this post, then you may also enjoy Laura’s blog about her freelance writing experiences, WritingThoughts.


About the author: Laura Spencer is a freelance writer from North Central Texas with over 19 years of professional business writing experience. If you liked this post, then you may also enjoy Laura’s blog about her freelance writing experiences, WritingThoughts


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15 Comments
  • User Gravatar
    James Chartrand - Men with Pens
    June 2nd, 2008 at 7:06 pm

    Very well said.

    I’ll add something – people should distribute encouragement and mean it when they say it. They shouldn’t always be the positive ray of sunshine though. Why? Because continual praise and encouragement loses its value if that’s all a person hears. Why? Because everyone knows they have areas to improve.

    I dispense compliments every now and then – they happen, not often. But when they happen, people know that I mean it, and I find it makes a huge difference in how they feel: better.

    Well written, Laura – and I mean that ;)

  • User Gravatar
    Selene M. Bowlby
    June 2nd, 2008 at 7:07 pm

    What timing on this post! Encouragement has made a HUGE impact on my freelancing career – today more than ever! I’ve been struggling with the decision as to if and/or when I should take the “freelance plunge” – as any freelancer knows, the timing of when to take this big step is not an easy decision to make.

    I, however, have been fortunate enough to have the encouragement of not only friends and family, but also clients, peers in the freelance world and business owners (many bloggers!) that I look up to – people I consider experts in their respective fields.

    To hear encouraging words such as “You can do this!” “You’re an amazing designer!” “You have the talent and the know-how to make it on your own!” “You deserve this!” etc – well all those words make it easier to make a big decision!

    I officially started the process of taking the freelance plunge today by giving my 2 week notice at work. Mid June I’ll be full time solo freelancer / entrepreneur / business owner / web designer – you name it! I’m so excited about taking this leap, and I know it wouldn’t have been possible without the encouragement of so many people! :)

  • User Gravatar
    Laura Spencer
    June 2nd, 2008 at 7:12 pm

    Thanks for your comments James and Selene!

    I definitely agree that a meaningful compliment is far more valuable than empty praise. People crave honesty. . .

    Congratulations on your new freelance career Selene! I certainly wish you luck.

  • User Gravatar
    Jamie Grove - How Not To Write
    June 2nd, 2008 at 7:34 pm

    Sometimes just a nudge is all that’s necessary to make a big difference.

    This year I got a nudge from SF writer/editor Eileen Gunn. I was fretting about the Clarion West writer’s workshop, trying to work up the gumption to apply. Eileen dropped an innocent comment on my blog, and that firmed everything up instantly. I didn’t make the cut, but just applying was the point.

    Great post, Laura!

  • User Gravatar
    Sara
    June 2nd, 2008 at 8:53 pm

    Plus, encouragement goes both ways. Not only does it make you feel better to receive it, it can seriously help when you give it (sincerely). Some of my favorite moments on the job are those moments when I’m able to make someone’s day by giving them a sincere compliment on something they weren’t feeling good about.

    I think you really nailed it when you differentiated between encouragement from someone you respect and someone you don’t. It’s just one more reason to value a positive work environment and talented coworkers.

  • User Gravatar
    Susie
    June 3rd, 2008 at 7:04 am

    Everyone is a teacher and everyone is a student, when it comes down to brass tacks, we don’t have the answers to everything, and when someone with authority gives us that encouragement, it is a teaching lesson on both sides, they see the value in something we have done, and we see that it is appreciated. That is a great feeling.

    When we are fearful that we have not done a job to the best of our expectations, we are our toughest critics, hearing it has been, will do wonders for your work.

    I recently lost a partner at work suddenly from a heart attack, this gentleman taught me a life lesson beyond all, his encouragement & appreciation for the simplest of tasks I performed will stay with me forever. There was never a day that went by that he did not thank me or tell me what I did for him was appreciated. It was his encouragement on a daily basis that I looked forward to. When that was gone, that spirit & honesty, I lost something for that particular position, prompting me to move on and find something I truly love to do.

    I will continue to say, communication in any relationship is the key.

  • User Gravatar
    Robert Hruzek
    June 3rd, 2008 at 7:24 am

    Excellent, excellent post, Laura!

    What’s discouraging for the Encourager is when point # 3 under “When Encouragement Doesn’t Help” happens. It’s particularly frustrating when someone who WANTS to help – and CAN help – gets a pushback from the recipient, all because of a a poor self-image.

    Laura, this is one of the best articles on encouragement I’ve read in quite a while. Good work!

  • User Gravatar
    Laura Spencer
    June 3rd, 2008 at 9:16 am

    Wow!

    I really love the way everyone’s chipping in with their own personal stories about encouragement. It seems that a lot of you have been personally affected by this topic.

    Keep the experiences coming. . .

    (It’s also encouraging to read about others being encouraged, if that makes sense :) )

  • User Gravatar
    Joe Norton
    June 3rd, 2008 at 10:59 am

    I loved the article, and loved the comments even more. Great posts – all contributors (including comment’ers)

  • User Gravatar
    Melek
    June 3rd, 2008 at 12:20 pm

    what’s especially nice is when you hear thru the grapevine that someone has been praising your work. i work with a lot of friends of friends, and occasionally the closer (non-work related) friend will tell me that the work related friend was bragging on me. I love that bc not only is that person happy with my work, but happy enough to tell other people.

  • User Gravatar
    Anuradha Sinha
    June 3rd, 2008 at 7:05 pm

    Just what I needed at this time. Thanks, Laura, for such a wonderful, lively, yet practical post. There are times when though you are aware of things, you want to hear it from someone else. Your write-up is exactly that. Encouraging and valuable. Makes me go back to all the appreciation that I appreciated and the ones I did not. :)

    P.S. I read freelancefolder almost everyday and value the opinions and ideas shared in this forum, but this piece somehow made me jump to my feet and I found myself typing out this comment. :)

  • User Gravatar
    Laura Spencer
    June 4th, 2008 at 9:58 am

    Thanks to everyone who stopped by to leave a comment. I’m glad that this post touched so many people.

  • User Gravatar
    Roy Phay
    June 4th, 2008 at 11:11 am

    Hi Laura,

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experience! I’m always looking for ways to improve myself and I’m glad to have found your blog. Thank you for sharing with us.

    Cheers,
    Roy

  • User Gravatar
    John Tomasini
    June 9th, 2008 at 8:52 am

    Great article Laura .
    Sometimes just one word can make a difference to your world . I have four children , all adults now . When as parents their mother and I would encourage them in whatever interests they had , we did not think that one day we might get encouragement from them . Well what goes around comes around and our lives are better for having done so . I do try to encourage by saying “well done” or “I like your work” , it’s good to get such a response from a someone you know or have never met before . However I do feel uncomfortable if I cannot reciprocate because I don’t genuinely mean it. This has happened a few times and I feel terrible everytime . Fortunately I am now mentored by people who are not only business associates but are also good friends . Ken is one such friend . He is on my web site . http://www.blacktienoni.com

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