The Shy Freelancer’s Guide for Face-to-Face Networking
Posted April 8, 2011 in Marketing
Networking is the cornerstone of any successful freelance business. It’s one of the most effective ways to meet potential new clients and form relationships that will evolve into new business.
People tend to do business with people they know and like, and they’re much more likely to use your services if they’ve met you a few times and have connected with you previously. But, what do you do if you’re a bit shy and aren’t comfortable walking into an event full of strangers and talking about yourself?
Over the years, I’ve developed a method of getting myself to go to networking events. I may be outgoing and fun around people I know, but a room full of strangers freezes me in my tracks! Here are a few tips to making these meetings less painful for networking-challenged freelancers.
Develop Conversation Starters
Knowing what to say to someone, especially when you’re stressed or nervous, can be hard to do. So go into your networking meeting armed with a few standard questions that you can ask of anyone you meet. Breaking the ice with some easy-to-answer questions can help get the conversation ball rolling.
A few simple conversation starters are:
- Have you been to one of these networking meetings before?
- What part of town do you live in/is your business in?
- Do you know anyone here today?
- Have you heard this speaker before?
Having a few easy-to-remember, general questions ready when you enter a networking event can help boost your confidence in starting the conversation.
Find someone who looks as lost as you do, and go talk to them.
How many times have you stood alone in a networking meeting wishing you had someone to talk to so you didn’t look so obviously on your own? Why not rescue someone else from that situation? It’s easy to do because they’ll be eager to talk to you after being released from their solo-status. Then if you hit it off, you can introduce them to someone else and all of a sudden you have a networking wingman. Which leads us into the next tip….
Take a Wingman with You
Sometimes, having someone counting on you to be at the meeting will encourage you to go to the meeting. And knowing someone at the meeting who you can go back to if needed helps you to feel safe. They’re like your networking anchor.
BUT, don’t get into the habit of going with a friend and then talking only to that person. You want to meet NEW people. So, chat with them a bit, and then integrate yourself (or even both of you) into a conversation with new people. That way, you have the comfort of a wingman, while still reaching out to new people. Plus, your wingman can tout your skills with the people they meet and vise versa, thus doubling your visibility in the meeting.
Practice Your Pitch
Generally, one of the first questions asked when meeting someone at a networking event is “What do you do?” Be ready with your ‘elevator’ speech so you’re confident in your answer. Develop a concise answer that easily communicates in 20-30 seconds what you do. A few ideas for developing your pitch might be:
- I’m a freelance designer who specializes in creating….
- I’m an independent writing consultant and just finished a project for…
- I’ve been a social media marketer for X years and have helped companies…
- I’m the owner of a small consulting business. I help other businesses…
Have Professional Business Cards Handy
You want to feel confident handing out your business card, and at networking events people will expect you to have one. Make sure your contact info is up to date, and that the cards are professional looking. You don’t want to have to scratch out and scribble in your new email or phone number. There are many low-cost online options that are easy to use and inexpensive to get updated, professional cards printed. Check out sites like VistaPrint.com or OvernightPrints.com (and others).
When you receive a new connection’s business card, make a note on the back as to who the person is, what you discussed, or other pertinent information about your conversation. That way if you want to reach out to them after the meeting, you’ll have a little nugget of information with which to start your conversation.
Test Out Different Types of Networking
Some networking groups encourage happy-hour type networking where you stand in a room with other people and just mingle, talking to new people gradually. This can be good for gregarious people, but a frightening situation for the more shy networkers.
If you’re not comfortable with the mingle-type of networking, find groups that use “forced networking.” It’s not as bad as it sounds. Forced networking is simply where you sit at a table with six to ten other people and give a short intro about yourself. You pass business cards to each person in the group, and then the next person gives their intro. This is a great way to meet multiple people without having to talk to them one-on-one. After the forced networking ends, you can then talk to some of the more compatible people before leaving the meeting.
If you feel lost in a really big crowd, find smaller local groups where you can get to know people better and feel more comfortable in a smaller setting. BNI groups are a good resource of local business people in a forced-networking type setting.
What’s the Worst that Can Happen?
I’ve never heard of a situation at a networking event where everyone stopped, pointed, and laughed at someone who felt out of place. So, get out there and do it. You may fumble over a word or two, or stand by yourself for a few minutes, but it’s not the end of the world. Don’t let your fear talk you out of going or you could miss out on potential clients, new business and connections.
What’s your best networking tip? Have you done things to prepare for a networking event that gave you more confidence to go meet new people? Share your tips in the comments.
Image by annilove
Related posts:
- Networking 101 (Plus 15 Great Freelance Networking Strategies)
- 5 Keys to Better Networking
- A Freelancer’s Guide to Dealing with Difficult People
- Networking For Dummies
- 40+ Networking Tools For Freelancers
About the author: Melissa Ek is the owner of www.ekmedia.com. She’s a freelance designer with more than 11 years of experience, specializing in clean design of websites, mobile websites, logos and print materials. She also illustrates greeting cards available at www.idrawcards.com.
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20 Comments
Lexirodrigo
April 8th, 2011 at 12:31 pmThanks for the tips, Melissa. I’m a shy freelancer, and I dread live networking events. Having a “wingman” or buddy is a good idea, but the temptation is too strong to just stick with or be too dependent each other, as you mention. It’s a good idea to prepare for ways to gradually bring other people into your circle.
Chris Vanasdalan
April 8th, 2011 at 12:46 pmMy best advice would be to just keep showing up. The first few events might be uncomfortable, but depending on the size of your market you’ll start to see familiar faces at different meet-ups.
Once I register for an event I check the guest list (if there is one) and I cross check it against my social networks like twitter and LinkedIn. Make a note of what people are tweeting & talking about the day of the event and come up with questions or follow up’s related to those status updates.
Set a goal of putting faces to the names of folks you’ve only interacted with online. You should have plenty to talk about because you already have a little background about that person, their business and what they do.
Oh, and don’t forget to smile. That’s the easiest way to start a conversation.
Dawn Baird
April 8th, 2011 at 1:41 pmHi, I really love this blog post. Mainly becuase I’d been thinking about this recently, and haev even blogged it too – see link. I personally have tested out different types of networking, after struggling for a few years, not realising there was any other kind, except the happy hour type you mentioned. Now, I love the informal nature of the Open Coffees and BizCamps.
Brittany Rubinstein
April 8th, 2011 at 6:28 pmLove this post because this is totally me. I have no trouble reaching out to people online, but when it comes to networking in person, I’m the girl standing awkwardly in the corner. It does get easier, though. And you’ve provided some great tips!
Maria Lucena
April 8th, 2011 at 8:08 pmI’m in the same boat. I’m an awful at socializing. I get so nervous I freeze and refuse to move. Or get my phone to call my family and make and excuse for myself to leave.
Add to that that I’m Hispanic and a Muslim and the hijab(veil) a few times actually gets some frowned faces.
But I will toughened up and hit the Networking road.
Thanks for sharing
Lucy Smith
April 8th, 2011 at 9:20 pmMy partner (my real partner, not business partner) often go to these things together because we’re in similar industries. We insituted the separate-but-together policy when we both realised we were hanging out together and not really talking to anybody else, so we began arriving together and then saying, seeya.
That led to some hilarity at a marketing workshop, where each person had to give their little elevator pitch. The guy taking the workshop got very excited when he saw that we had complementary businesses (I’m a copywriter, he’s a web developer) so he made us exchange business cards across the room. I have never had to work so hard to keep a straight face in my life.
TLC
April 9th, 2011 at 12:34 amI think joining your local Chamber of Commerce is the best networking platform. My Chamber offers a number of classes to help you run your business — including Networking 101. I have gotten so much out of my membership in terms of education, networking and business — nearly 10x the cost of the dues! I volunteer for them now, which gives me even more opportunities to meet and talk with other members. I just went to a networking event yesterday, and now I have four meetings to set up for potential new business!
Nicole
April 9th, 2011 at 1:10 amGreat post you have here Mellisa… You have some very strong points here! It was a very good read and a great source of information… Thanks for sharing…
Caitlin Kelly
April 9th, 2011 at 1:03 pmGreat post….lots of good advice. (Love the photo!)
I tend to avoid such events and need to get out to them more. I have often fervently wished for whoever organizes any event to make it even easier by color-coding name badges by industry segment — red for writers, blue for graphic designers, whatever. I find I can really waste too much time simply talking to interesting and fun people who will never refer work to me because we don’t do the same sort of projects.
Caitlin Kelly
April 9th, 2011 at 1:04 pmI would also suggest when you write a few details on the back of someone’s business card the date and place you met them, to jog their memory.
Julia
April 10th, 2011 at 7:44 amI tend to avoid networking meetings like the plague, so this is a good reminder to go–and with great tips to cope with my basic introverted nature. Thanks!
Michael Donovan
April 10th, 2011 at 6:40 pmOne of the easiest ways to meet people is to volunteer. Put your time in to helping others and they’ll return the favor by introducing you to the people you’d like to meet. A lot of times this will also save you on paying dues and give you access to more prominent people.
Example: When I lived in Chicago, I volunteered for a professional organization taking pictures. It landed me several jobs, gave me access to every one of their events, gave me free membership, allowed me to have free signage for my company at every function, allowed me to meet CEO’s and VP’s of fortune 500 companies, and so much more. I found out about events in advance and was part of the planning and donated some of my services to get established. My first set of clients were all major companies. I made some really good friends who linked me to even more good people and I never had to make a formal introduction or pass out a card since the organizers did it for me. Eventually I convinced them to pay me for my services and I continued to get all the same rewards as before.
Also, it helped me that I used to do standup comedy. I don’t expect everyone to become performers, but most people are scared of speaking to strangers so I suggest people go to an open mic and just go on stage for 5 minutes. You don’t have to be funny, you just have to overcome your fear. Just go on stage and say whatever is happening inside your head. Once you overcome your fear of public speaking, you’ll lose all shyness and be able to move on with your life.
Finally, there is a great book called “How to work a room” by Suzanne RoAnne. It has a ton of great pointers.
Kelsey
April 10th, 2011 at 8:06 pmMy mom always says, “What’s the worst that can happen?” too. Makes me feel better.
Marc Buurke
April 12th, 2011 at 4:38 amI always like networking meetings. As a freelancer working from home it is nice to get in touch with people, and selling is just an added bonus. Sometimes I might not get a good lead right away, only to find that the person who calls me the next week heard from someone I spoke at a meeting that I was into webdesign. In short, although you might be shy, find ways to be confident about who you are and what you do.
John
October 31st, 2011 at 12:49 pmUgh, networking is tough. Hard to break out of that shell when you are shy. I struggle with it sometimes.
Susan B. Bentley
November 18th, 2011 at 8:57 amResearching a new blog post on shyness and freelancing, I hit your great article first! Suffice to say, I’ve linked to this from my blog and added a tip of my own – networking over coffee and food. Great article, I nodded all the way through in agreement!
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