I’ve had to make recommendations to clients that require they make significant changes in their business practices, or at least undertake a major new project. One such example was to move from a series of unique custom desktop applications that were causing my client some serious deployment and management issues to an Intranet-based solution. They just didn’t want to commit to something that seemed to be such a major undertaking. In the following weeks and months, I would just mention it here and there in such a way as not to obviously restate my case, but rather to make them aware of benefits or examples. Ultimately, they conversations turned more to when, and not if, we were going to start this intiative.

They really just needed time for the idea to feel comfortable to them. Once they got to that point, there were no more serious obstacles.

I never know for sure which discussions will take off.

Sometimes posts that are carefully crafted for success fall flat. Other times posts that are merely rants on my part really take off.

As for self-confident kids, let’s just say she and I face off in fireworks sometimes :)

James – thanks for sharing your story. With a Dad like you I’m sure that your daughter will grow up with boatloads of self-confidence. (Sadly, a lot of people tend to tune children out. Good to know that you’re not one of them.)

This weekend at the local fair, my toddler and I played games to collect stuffed toys. The vendors would let us win three and then trade them up for bigger stuffed animals.

“I’ll just take this one and this one and this one,” the woman snatched some of my toddler’s collection. “And give you THIS!” She presented my kid with a real ugly purple bumblebee.

“But I like my cow.” My daughter eyed the toy.

“But look at THIS!” The woman pretended to admire the shiny wings, the boggly eyes. “Isn’t it beautiful?”

“I like my COW.” My toddler firmed up.

“A cow? Oh no, honey. This one is so much better. Look how sparkly it is!”

“I. Want. My. Cow.”

I was silently cheering. She got her cow back and when we walked away, I told her how proud I was that she’d spoken out and stuck up for what she really wanted.

Too many people have trouble doing that. Firmly saying what you think is right or getting your message across isn’t easy. We fear ridicule, embarrassment, don’t trust ourselves enough or don’t want anyone to think we’re pushy. Truth is, we only hurt ourselves.

In business, when I know something isn’t the right choice for the client, I say so – gently – and I tell them WHY it’s not the right choice. I also offer my alternative. They have all the information they need to take an informed decision.

If they pursue their original idea, I’ll restate my case – gently and clearly – and mention that if their idea is what they want, I’ll do it, but that I don’t think it’s the best choice. Could they confirm that’s what they truly want?

That often gives clients pause for thought. And they often come back after thinking it over to say they agree with me and thank me for standing firm in the face of their own pushing.

I think it’s in the tone and style that you deliver suggestions and the confidence you convey when holding out for what you know is best. But it’s also knowing when to give up and keep the client happy.

Good one, Laura.

Jen Thomas
Research Analyst
Muvar Software