Why The Delete Key Is My Best Friend When It Comes To Telling Off Clients
I’ve always prided myself on the fact that I provide impeccable customer service. But bottom line - if you’re in the service industry (which we are), you will find yourself dealing with ridiculous clients.
Whether you’re a waitress being screamed at by an angry customer about a spot on his fork, or you’re an IT person explaining the “I-D-10-T” error to a client who won’t accept that, every once in a while, computers will freeze - you will sometimes find your heart pumping faster, and your fingers scrambling for the “mean letters” on the keyboard.
However, no matter how much we want to put these clients in their place, we must remember that we’re in the “service industry“. Consequently, we must bite our tongues and solve the problem.
Take A Break
I’ve learned that in situations like this, I need to take a break from the computer and develop my thoughts before I respond. Just last week, I was placed in a similar situation. A new client wanted me to edit his website, but he refused to give me the login credentials to his site. He was protecting this information as if I was trying to steal his bank records.
Somehow, he was under the false impression that I could simply edit his website directly from the browser. After explaining to him that I must have his source files in order to complete the job, he proceeded to respond with something along the lines of, “I already told you! Just do it from Internet Explorer!“
Now, creative people tend to be overly sensitive in the first place. This is just a fact of nature. We over analyze each word in our meager attempt to decipher a sentence. The exclamation point is what really got me fired up. I kept thinking to myself, “Why is this an issue! Why do you hire me and then not give me the tools that I require?! I oughta….” Usually, I get a couple of paragraphs written in my response before I lift my hands and take a break for a few minutes.
Finish The Email In Your Head
I am not too big to admit that I tell people off in my head. Heck, while I’m being honest, I’ll admit that I typically tell them off out loud. Granted, there is nobody else around, but that is neither here nor there!
When steam builds up inside you, it has to be released in some form. Rather than ranting to my significant other, I prefer to privately call the client mean things, like “(insert your words of choice)”, as I make my lunch. Maybe it’s childish. Maybe it’s trivial. But, it works for me.
Put Yourself In The Client’s Shoes
After I’ve cooled off, I take a few moments to place myself in the client’s shoes. We should remember that ignorance isn’t a reason to be rude. They are hiring us because they can’t do the job themselves. As a result, we shouldn’t hold their ignorance against them. Ask yourself a few questions. We’ll use my real-world example as a basis.
1) Why Is The Client Angry?
My client, being a senior citizen, is unfamiliar with web development. He believed that I could perform an impossible task (probably at the advice of one his checkers buddies). Most likely, he thought that giving up his username and password was bad practice and that he was doing good business by keeping it to himself. Still, he was flustered because I said “No”. A client never wants to hear this. Unfortunately, sometimes there isn’t an alternative.
2) Am I Willing To Lose This Customer?
Excusing extreme circumstances, I will never sacrifice a customer. In my experiences, every disagreement can be solved. Even if I’m not making a great deal of money off the job, I have to factor in future projects with the client as well as his or her referrals.
3) How Can I Fix This?
Usually, a very polite and well thought out email will do the trick. Here is a snippet of my response to the difficult client.
“I apologize for any inconvenience that this has caused you. In order to edit a website, a web developer must be allowed access to the source files. I can assure you that under no circumstances will your login information be given out - as detailed in the contract that you and I both signed.
If it would make you feel better, I’d recommend that you change your username and password as soon as the project is completed. If you are unfamiliar with how to do this, I will give you specific instructions. Otherwise, if I can’t edit the original files, I can’t make the updates for you. Hopefully, this issue can be resolved shortly. I’ll wait to hear back from you.
The client emailed me later that day with his login information. All that he needed was for me to explain to him exactly what the problem was and how it could be resolved.
Fix The Problem
Be sure that you make good on what you promise. Fix the problem and be done with it! Even if the client is the rudest person that you’ve ever dealt with, just remember: It’s nothing personal. If you’re a freelancer, you’ve probably never even met the client in person. When communicating through email, you must consider the fact that emotions can’t be delivered via text. Finish the job, collect your fee, and move on!
The next time that you find your teeth grinding and your fingers slowly making their way into a fist, just remember that the delete key can be your best friend.
Jeffrey Way
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About the author: Jeffrey Way is a full-time freelance web developer who is most comfortable when blending in with a corner at a Starbucks while working. When he’s not designing for his clients, he maintains a blog that contains thoughts and tutorials related to web development. He lives in Nashville, Tennessee with his fiance’ and dachshund.
16 Rockin' Comments
July 9th, 2008 at 6:04 pm
As I read this I had to laugh in absolute sympathy. I am so fortunate that this is not a frequent issue but I use the same technique. I pace and tell them off and somehow to work off the emotion of the moment. Speaking my mind (even when I am the only audience) releases the tension and then allows me to think clearly and see the issue from their perspective. I use this technique with family members too (far more frequently I might add! lol).
July 9th, 2008 at 7:10 pm
why is it that we are overly sensitive? I get that way all the time - in fact this post must have been written to me after the day I had!
July 9th, 2008 at 7:37 pm
@Adelle: I guess it’s because we’re used to expressing emotions/feelings whether it’s with a design, a song, etc… or capturing emotions, like a photographer for example. Anything that is ‘artsy’, in my opinion, requires you to be able to express and interpret emotions and be creative, in a ‘put everything you have in a project and make it special’ kinda way :) (not sure if I make sense at all though lol)
July 9th, 2008 at 8:10 pm
@Adelle - I don’t know why. It’s both a burden and a blessing, I think. I know one thing…I wouldn’t take the alternative. On a side note - I’m always surprised by how many web people are also musicians. Like Jon, I too have been a guitar player since I was six. Usually, I have a guitar in my hand when I’m working on a task. I find it helps….somehow. :)
July 9th, 2008 at 9:11 pm
I tend not to use that delete key as often. You gave great advice for sure, but some people are just too ignorant and I feel I’m wasting more time than it’s worth. Sometimes people are just plain a-holes, and if they don’t want to treat me with respect, I choose not to work with them.
July 9th, 2008 at 11:28 pm
I agree that creatives tend to get upset really quick, but I cant agree with the following statement:
Disagreements can be solved, but opportunity costs are important as well. A low paying job with a ton of hassle is not one you want to keep, or get referrals from. Referrals tend to be very similar to the project they came from because usually these people are peers. A shitty client (yes there is such a thing) equals shitty referrals. Also why would anyone want future work from the same client? If they were impossible to work with the first time then they definitely will be the next time as well.
That being said, don’t give up on the first disagreement but by time it becomes pattern there is a serious problem…
July 10th, 2008 at 12:56 am
Excellent article. You did well not to lose your cool and yell back :)
If anyone wants further reading on dealing with difficult clients, the well known book “How to Win Friends and Influence People” is choc-a-bloc full of tips/stories and in many cases gives you examples on how to talk to difficult clients.
It goes into detail on why we behave the way we do. In an argument it basically all comes down to dignity and pride. Admitting you are wrong is a bigger thing then most people realise.
The one thing I took from the book is, “Always agree with the other person”. Start with, “Yes I completely understand how you feel…” then go from there.
It even helped me talk me way out of getting fired last week. My employer found something I wrote about the company on a website, they gave me one chance to explain why they shouldn’t fire me. I basically just agreed with everything they said and acted sincere and that was it!! Job saved!
Can’t speak highly enough of the book “How to Win Friends and Influence People”. It’s a freelancers bread and butter. Look it up on Amazon. You won’t regret it.
July 10th, 2008 at 6:31 am
I don’t think I would have been as diplomatic as you. Well done!
July 10th, 2008 at 9:13 am
@Zinni - I disagree. I’ve had small clients refer me to much larger customers. The way I look at it, if I was working at a large design firm..and blew off a client - I’d be fired immediately.
July 10th, 2008 at 11:16 am
One thing to add … if you find yourself venting in an email, immediately delete the address in the To: field. That way you won’t be able to accidentally click Send before you can revisit what you’re saying … :-)
July 10th, 2008 at 1:59 pm
funny stuff, with good advice. I’ve learned to cut the loss, especially when someone wants you to try 8 different colors which all look like puke infested carpet.
July 10th, 2008 at 3:15 pm
@Dave, you stole my suggestion.
@Jeff, I always appreciate an article with at least 3 subtle, dry jokes.
@All (including Dave)
I always think in terms of ego-states of human beings: parent, child, and adult. The goal is always to get them into an adult ego state, at which point a rational dialogue can take place and the issue can be solved. I don’t feel like recalling the methods to get a person out of one and into another ego state. It has to do with patronizing them, making them believe that you really do understand their concerns, etc. Just a bunch of fake garbage that forces you to compromise your true sentiment, really.
July 11th, 2008 at 5:19 am
A great read. This is the kind of blog post that interests me. Kinda reminds me of the articles over at Coding Horror (I consider that a big compliment).
You really got into the psyche of a developer, and from my perspective I can really relate to this story.
July 11th, 2008 at 3:16 pm
@Simon - Thank you. I really appreciate that!
July 11th, 2008 at 8:55 pm
I’ve been faced with these situations before. I usually hold back on the anger, and rather use sarcasm as my means of revenge. Meaning I’ll use an overly monotone with the clients, and they get even more pissed off when I do that.
In my experience with customer service and the web development industry, it is most certainly better to hold your tongue, than it is to speak your mind and potentially blacklist your company and lose clients.
I’ve been in some serious situations where yelling would have made me feel better. For example; A client wanted a website design created, they kept telling me “We want a site that looks like companyname.com.”. Then I said, “ripping off another companies website is not the right way to go about things.” So after some discussion I made a couple of concepts up (jpgs), sent them to the client, and then they said “You sent us the website, but where are the other pages?”. I then proceeded to tell them that they were only concept designs and they’d have to pay if they wanted them created. Things got pretty heated, and I had to explain to about 4 different people before they understood, I was even accused of bad service.
Its easier to tell yourself you’re not going to get bad or worked up. We all know when it comes to the crunch, we don’t always stay true to our words.
- Dwayne Charrington.
August 18th, 2008 at 5:21 am
I agree with Zinni, some customers are not worth the effort. Some people will complain or remain ignorant forever, no matter how hard you try.
Work enough out there.
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